The Most Amusing and Secret Diary Of A First Year
by Wolffe41
Summary: If you have found this, you have been dwellign my most darkest, deepest thought. Yeah right. If 'dark thoughts' include feeding people to Carl the Black Lake Squid, invoking a prank war between James and Sirius, then yes it could be called evil. If not, then welcome to my wonderful world. Emmaline likes hot boys, Lily's gone all hormonal and Pasta is Good.
1. So I set the wandmaker on Fire

_**25**__**th**__** August, 1970.**_

_**10. 00 AM, My Bedroom.**_

"Katie?" mum calls through my bedroom door.

I grunt and roll over, ignoring her until she gives up and comes striding in. How very, very typical. Without even bothering to knock, too. I could have been naked in here, but no. She just doesn't respect my privacy. Or anyone else's, for that matter.

I sit up and look at her as she stands over me, a small box in her hands.

"Mum, it's only 10, you know I don't like being up this early," I groan. She ignores me, and marches over to my windows and pulls the curtains open. The sun comes in and I tuck myself back up.

"Oh, don't be moody, I have you a present," she says, holding the box out. Well, that's a first. Moody woman barely does anything for me, she's too busy with all her work and research and parties.

I take it off of her and she goes back out again, slamming my door behind her. I think my ear drums have just burst.

Oh well, it won't kill me. I turn the box over and run my hand along the seam, and pull out what's inside.

...

As. If.

My lovely mother has brought me a _diary_.

I'm not going to call it a diary though, because that sounds wimpy. And girly.

But, if mum really wants a fun-filled record of my first year at Hogwarts, she may.

Anyway, may I introduce myself to you, dear new 'Notepad'? You are now in the possession of me, the almighty Katie Armstrong! Behold the terrors, run in fear as I scribble down my thoughts. But I still don't really want to.

Ho Hum.

I get up (slowly) and get dressed. My rooms pretty big, just for general information, and could probably hold another three beds.

Anyway, I am going to Hogwarts!

And I am only just 11. Thank god I was born two days early, or I would have had to wait _another year_.

How crazy is that? Hope I'm in Gryffindor. Dad was, but Mum was a Hufflepuff.

A _Hufflepuff_.

What the _Hell_ is a _Hufflepuff_?

But to be perfectly honest, she's far too mad and stuff to be a Hufflepuff. I heard they were meant to be nice and loyal and humble, not go on violent rampages round the house, chucking books in boxes at their dear young daughter, and then waking up their son.

Errgh, I don't want to get up. I suppose I have to, though. I step into my shower and turn it on. Bloody hell, that's hot!

I let the water douse me for a few minutes before bothering to move and actually get washed. I never get up before eleven, usually, in the holidays.

But, as Dad says, this is a special occasion.

Dad wants to go to Diagon alley today, for my school stuff. I don't particularly, but I do need the things, as using dear old Olivia's stuff would not be nice.

Surely he can go alone?

Psh.

He did say he would get me an owl, though. And I need a wand. It would look stupid arriving at a magical school without a wand. Duh.

And he likes midget owls. You know, the tiny little Scops ones that are sooo adorable, but hopeless for mail?

So really, I _have_ to go, or I will end up with one of them.

I want a big one. But a _nice_ big one. My auntie has a huge Great Horned Owl, and he is called _Jeremy_.

I know, it's a bloody ridiculous name, and he's the most evil, grumpy thing on this earth. But then again, so would I if I was called Jeremy.

Somebody is trampling up my stairs, I can hear them. I step out o the shower and grab some clothes from my floor. Yes, they're dirty, but who cares?

They could at least try to be quiet, it's only... 11.30, now, and I could still be asleep. Honestly.

But no, my loving father is knocking on the door.

"Katie, hurry up and get out, I want to go before it gets too busy!"

I snort and start drying my hair. If I go down, mum could dry it for me, but her reputation is not good outside of cooking spells and healing spells. I would prefer to keep some hair on my head. It's an alleyway that only magical people can get into. I'm sure it won't be too bad.

...

_**Later, **_

_**Diagon Alley**_

I take that back. It's bloody awful! Packed with people, and heat, and funny smells!

It is pretty cool though, and miraculously, it's still relatively sunny, on the one day of summer we have here in the UK. Ok, I lie; we have a few months of summer. But it's always raining, so somehow I don't think it counts.

We walk through the street to Gringotts (I still think it's awesome in there, even if it is the several thousandth time I've been there over the years.)

Still hate those carts though. And the goblins, stupid stumpy things, bad tempered and they all have silly names.

I said that to dad, and he looked mortally wounded.

"Katie! You can't say that about other magical creatures, its discrimination!" he looks rather astounded. I sigh; it's only a mere thought.

"I _know_, but it's true! Are we going to Ollivanders yet?" I say, and he nods before turning me into a little grey shop.

...

_**In the shop thing, **_

_**Still later.**_

Mr Ollivander is a strange, strange man.

First he measures me with a silver thing, then ignores the measurements completely, then grabs random boxes and tells me to wave the wand inside around whilst he says a string of more strange, strange things that I don't quite hear.

He passes me yet another wand and I sigh, before seeing what's inside. A long, Black wand looks quite happy in its box, and I gently pry it out. I quite like it, actually. I wave it around, watching as silvery flames shoot out of the end. Ollivanders has wandered off again, saying something about Europe.

I continue to wave the wand around, but the flames have suddenly got bigger and incredibly close to his head.

Ahh! No, _not_ near his head! Stupid flames...

I try to guide them away, but it just spreads out more, and catches onto the shelf, right above the old man's head.

I begin to panic as it gets bigger, and I'm unable to drop the wand. Someone grasps me from behind, and dad takes the wand off of me, much to my relief.

"Err, excuse me, sir?" dad says, his eyes on the flaming inferno above the wand makers head.

Thank god, super dad to the rescue.

"Not to worry, it's quite normal, quite alright..." Ollivander says, and I sigh in relief. Dad puts it out with water that squirts out of his wand with a flick, and it dries immediately.

My breathing returns to normal, and seeing the fact no one has died or anything, smile slightly. I make a mental to warn Jake of it for when he comes to get a wand. He's three years younger than me, and is a complete lunatic. Not even lying, he would have made Mr Ollivander explode himself, had he been here.

Ollivander takes back the wand, and we continue trying wands for at least another hour.

How long can this take? I'm starting to get a bit fed up now.

I mean seriously, who cares what wand I get?

I say that to the man.

"Excuse me, sir, but what is the point in waving these wands around like this?"

Both men look at me. Oh good grief, Dad looks mad and the shop guy looks rather offended.

"It is a serious business, little one! If you would up with the wrong wand..."

BlahBlahBlah. I probably know the talk already. It's all 'oh, you might explode and die!' in my house, especially with Jake.

And especially since my dear older sister Olivia is home. She's going into her last year at Hogwarts, and we got a letter a few weeks ago saying she's head girl.

What an outrage. Okay, she's a Ravenclaw and extremely no nonsense, but I think Dumbledore must be a bit mad to make her head girl, along with her boyfriend, David Spinnet.

We keep trying wands until he holds out another long one, this time in a rich brown. I wave it around, and gasp as the little shop lights up with little gold and red lights.

Mr Ollivander snatches it out of my hand and puts it back in a box.

"Ash and a Black Unicorn tail hair. 12 ½ inches. Swishy. Good for defensive charms and hexes. Over-protective of its person, but powerful. Strange combination... I never would have used it myself. This is a Gregorovich creation. Rare, them."

Dad looks a bit startled, but pleased and we pay the money and get out.

Phew. It's nice to be out in the open. Ollivanders smells musty and old, but if it was cleaned I think the place would fall down.

"Well, Katie, looks like you have a good chance at becoming a Gryffindor!" dad says, and throws an arm around me.

...okay? What does that have to do with anything? Not lying, but I think he has rather severe mental problems. After all, he did buy me and Jakey ponies, and tried to tell us they were unicorns.

They obviously weren't though.

Because unicorns have horns...

I think.

"Err, why?" I ask, glaring slightly and shrugging his arm off.

"Because it spat out red sparks! Mine spat out red sparks, and I was a Gryffindor, and your mothers spat out yellow sparks and she was a Hufflepuff- it's the most prominent house colour."

Like I said, mad. I'm pretty sure that wands can't 'spit'. But ho hum, there we go.

My family are all mad.

Apparently that's true for all pureblood family's, but I only know a few, like mums friend Augusta Longbottem. She has a son that will be in my year... I think.

But apart from that, I don't know many people. Although I did go into the ministry this one time, and met a pair of nice boys with a lunatic father.

But that is again, beside the point.

...

_**Still in Diagon Alley, **_

_**Still later.**_

I and dad are STILL in Diagon, walking through the long, long street to Eeylops Owl Emporium.

I like owls.

Once upon a time I do remember having a family owl (I think his name was Oscar- what is wrong with my family?) but then he fell ill and dad got some carrier pigeons.

What lunatic buys _Carrier pigeons_?

How stupid must it look, when a carrier pigeon just casually flies up to your house, drops of a letter and then flies away again?

Anyway, we still have... three of them? They have such irritating noises! Seriously, all I hear at night is _wheeehewww, whewwwheeww, wheeeeewww. _That's also possibly the reason for my extremely late get ups – it's the only time the pigeons are quiet.

It's enough to drive a poor young girl insane.

_**Eeylops' Owl Emporium, Even later**_

Blimey, it's dark in here.

And smells like owl poo, too.

Not nice.

But it's still pretty cool, once you can actually see, there are lots of owls. When we walked in, a little bell tinkered, and a man came hurrying out and is now waiting for us behind a counter.

"Dad, there are lots of owls in here, aren't there." I say, just merely observing. He shoots me a funny look.

"It's an owl shop. What do you expect, Chickens?"

I sigh. What an imbecile he is. I could have expected a pigeon store, though.

We go over to the counter and the little man. (It's a very attractive shade of charcoal, and scattered with poo)

He's very short, shorter than I first thought, and bespectacled, with a big smock-y sort of thing under an apron.

Why do you need an apron in an owl shop?

Pushing this small fact aside, I decide to take a look at the owls.

Dad starts to explain that I want an owl for school.

No, I definitely don't want to buy an _owl_ from an _owl_ shop.

Duh. I roll my eyes and huff under my breath at him.

The man pushes his glasses up his sweaty face and wrings his hands, looking up at me.

"You'll be little Armstrong, then wont you?" No. Duh.

I bite back a sarcastic comment, and reply, "Yes, I am indeed. Can I take a look at the owls please?"

The guy grins and shuffles off to the back of the store, with me following in behind.

At the back are cages full of beautiful, _beautiful_ big owls, each about six times the size of Jeremy, and a million times nicer, too.

There's a black one, and a grey one, and a bronze one, and a white one, and another grey one, and a silvery bronze one, and a golden one.

Oh, wow! I have to contain a gasp at the sight of them, their feathers rustling and eyes as bright as jewels.

"Just go around the cages and poke a finger through the bars, and the ones that don't nip at you we can take out to see how they get on with you." The guy interrupts my train of thought.

How dare he.

I go up to the first cage, with the big black one. He opens up a big orange eye and glares at me, then when I held a finger out, tried to take my hand off. Well then. I would like to keep all body parts intact, so step back, and move to the grey.

Pretty much the same happens with the other ones, apart from the first grey one and the silvery-bronze one.

But the silvery one looks _sad_. I feel quite sorry for the little guy.

I know how it feels to be locked up in a cage, where nobody wants you, whilst everyone else is off having heaps of fun and games (Well, not literally, but it did when 'Livvy went to Hogwarts!).

Awww. Bless him.

I ask the man, "Can I try the silver one, please, as well as the not-so-vicious ones?"

He looks rather shocked, but does so all the same.

The big bird looks a bit confused as to why he's being taken out of his cage, and then looks at me, with his lovely head held high with a sort of pride in his eyes.

_Awwwwwwww._

I grab him (again, not literally or the poor thing would have fallen out of the window, knowing my bad coordination) off of the man, and he looks at me again.

I can feel my heart melt. This time _almost_ literally.

After a minute the owl relaxes and ruffles his feathers and looks away, and chirps at the other owls, as though he's laughing at them.

My heart solidifies again, thank god.

How would I get on at Hogwarts, if just one owl had the skills to make me go mushy? How would I _live_?

I glance up at the man.

"I want him. How much?" dad reappears round the cage and glares at me. I get the message, and clear my throat, looking at the man again.

"Oh dearest shopkeeper, would you ever so mind me buying this exquisite owl?"

Dad nods at me.

Is this how he wants me to speak? Like some posh imbecile?

I most certainly will not do so again. Humph.

...

_**Even later than it was earlier,**_

_**Home, in the Pigeon/owl house.**_

We brought the silvery owl!

In the end he was the only one that didn't attack me, even the relatively-friendly-ones-that-didn't-quite-take-off-my-hand.

So I said to the shop keeper, "Please sir, may I buy this owl?" In the lovely, lady-like tone the family want me to speak in.

Psh.

"Of Course!" he said. "This poor thing has been in here for a while- a lad came in here earlier to take a look, but his mother wanted a black one. Poor things could have got on nicely together too."

I scowled, and dad nudged me in the back. I had just brought the owl! Why would I care about if anyone else wanted him?

He's _mine_.

Dad paid two galleons for my owl, and we left the dingy place, to my relief again, because the smell was getting to me.

Sadly, it started to rain on the way back. We hurried up the street back to the Leaky Cauldron to go home. I asked dad about everything else, but apparently mum brought me books and robes a few weeks ago. So maybe she is useful.

I'm sat in the little room overlooking my house – the ex-owlery and long since turned pigeonry and home of the lets-annoy-Katie-until-she-wants-to-savagely-attack-us noises.

Owly looks relatively happy up here, the pigeons have shut up, for one too.

It's a miracle.

Seriously and truly a miracle.

They hoot all night and all day, but the moment I release my owl they all shut up. Hah.

I think Owly needs a name. A name other than 'silvery owl', 'creature', 'owl' and 'Owly'.

I brought a 'History of Magic' and some Astronomy books up here; maybe there will be some interesting names. I open them and settle down in the window seat overlooking the forest, and start to read.

The books themselves are interesting enough, but there are only goblin names, and I'm sure my owl doesn't want to be named after some dead goblin.

Oh well. There'll be something in here.

...

_**Still later, **_

_**Still in the pigeon house.**_

I am, once again, wrong.

It's almost as though I'm being punished, because _everything_ goes wrong in my life.

Please, God? What did I ever do to you?

Maybe I was that evil guy that said 'kill all the muggles!' and started a huge war.

Knowing my luck, I probably was.

The only relatively nice names are things like Poseidon and Neptune etcetera, but I don't like them. My owl is not a Greek god. I'm looking and watching him fly about at the same time, and it's getting rather distracting. His wings make a lovely noise as he flies, almost like snow dropping.

I flick over a page and almost carry on when I see a picture. I take a closer look, and it has the sun, the moon and some squiggly lines on it.

Maybe I can call Owly Moon...

Nah, that'd be weird for a boy. If he was a girl, then it would be alright, but I asked the man and Owly is definitely a boy.

I wouldn't say Sun either. So that leaves these funny lines.

I read on, because underneath is a caption, with the funny symbols complete with dates and months and animals. It takes a second for me to realise what it is. A Lunascope.

Apparently the one with a tail is called 'Leo'. And he is an august lion.

That means I'm a lion. Oh yes. Lion in birth and (hopefully) lion in house.

That means Jake is... Cancer?

A strange muggle disease? Always knew he was mad.

Someone calls up, and comes running. Oh dear, speak of the devil and the devil appears. (Well, he would do anyway. With my bad karma, I practically AM the devil).

Jake is knocking on the door, and yelling at me to let him in. Good grief.

"Oi! Katie, let me in! I want to see the owl."

Honestly. Boys.

I get up and go over to the door, opening it to reveal my little brother, who scowls at me. Lovely. Friendly bloke. The muggle disease is welcome to him.

"Can I see it?" he asks, a little pleading look in his eyes.

Hah, that doesn't work anymore!

Gooey Owl eyes work, but not little bro's!

"First of all, He is a 'he', not an 'it', and second, you can if you wish. But be careful, in case your face scares him,"

Aren't I nice?

He jumps up and wanders over to my Owl, fussing his head.

Owly pushes his head into Jakeys' hand, and closes his eyes.

Awwwwwwww.

He is _such a cute owl._

Something sharp hits my head and I glare at Jake.

"What's his name?" he says very slowly, as though he was talking to a mad person.

I am _not_ mad, thank you dear brother, I just have bad karma. And poor attention skills.

"Err, at the moment he doesn't have one... d'you want to help me look?"

The child looks up, then looks at the book and frowns. "What about them? Astrology and stars and stuff?" he asks.

Hmmm. Good plan, but I won't tell him. His big head may expand.

But, as a good omen to be in Gryffindor and to represent my birth (so patriotic, I know) I will call him 'Leo'!

Leo looks quite pleased with his name; he flutters down and lands neatly on my shoulder, ruffling his little wings.

Awwwwwwww. Bless him.

"Jacob Robert Armstrong, you are officially amazing," I tell him, clapping him on his back. He looks rather confused, thick child, and reaches out to pet Leo on the head.

"Why?" he says slowly, giving me a worried look. I roll my eyes, and point at my owl. Honestly, how stupid is he?

"I have named him Leo. And technically _you_ came up with it,"  
>Jake looks quite amazed, then he folds his arms smugly and nods.<p>

"I know. I noticed that a while ago."

Stupid cocky bastard.

He sniggers as I scowl him, then turns and began to leave the little room. "By the way, dinners ready soon and mum wants you to pack your trunk ready, or it won't be done in time."

I suddenly grin at him. He looks surprised, and backs out of the owlery.

Only 7 days now!

I can safely start counting down (I did technically start when 'Liv first went, but that seemed a bit desperate.)

Ah, all the _food_, and the _magic_, and the _professors_, and the _jokes_, and the _house elves_ and the _Quidditch_... I think my heart's working overly hard, because I'm grinning manically and am finding it a bit hard to breathe.

I actually haven't played Quidditch properly for years- not since Olivia got her boyfriend and barely comes over at summer. I miss it, really, and I was quite good at one point... Psh.

I'm dreading her being head girl. She's scary enough as it is, and because 'we have a reputation to uphold', she'll be going for my throat every time I do something wrong.

She does say that the food is amazing though, because there are over 100 house elves, all professional. We only have one (Mini- Liv named her when she was 3) and she is an amazing cook.

I hope they serve pasta there. My auntie went to Italy once, and came back with the most incredible, incredible recipes for pasta, it tastes like gold dust – although I don't know what that tastes like, but if you could eat gold dust, it would taste like Annette's pasta.

Well, before she went to India to research curry (I love curry. Basically I love food in general. It all should become the eighth wonder of the world) and got attacked by a rampaging manticore, and was never seen since. I really miss that woman. Although she was still a psychopath, like so many other beings in my poor family.

I don't think I'm that mad... I just have bad karma for almost killing everyone in a previous life.

I think?

Oh well. I get up and wave good bye to Leo – he hoots and flies out of the window. Oh. I shake my head at him, then head off back to the house for dinner. Mum'll be angry if I'm late, as per usual, and angering her at the moment is a bad plan.

She might change her mind and send me to Beuxbatons. I think I would puke.

...

AN: Heh, first diary entry, of the series that will begin around my OC Katie Armstrong and her fun filled time marauding at Hogwarts with everyone's favourite marauders!

I have decided to close 'Mischief Managed' as it was irritating me a lot as I couldn't get the parts right, so I surrendered. Then I had the thought for this. And here we are now. I find it much easier to write diary style, and this storyline is based off a dream I once had. It was the Best. Dream. Ever. Siriusly, it was amazing. Updates should be sooner, and IC will have a new chapter tomorrow.


	2. No, I do NOT Want to be a Hufflepuff

_**31**__**th**__** August,**_

_**Home- lunch.**_

Oh I am so tired.

Quite literally, I have been in a never ending buzz for the past week.

It is my last day at home; I'm going to Hogwarts tomorrow!

OhMyMerlin I'm kind of really nervous too.

What if I'm not a Gryffindor?

But Leo was still called Leo? How stupid would that look?

I blame dad entirely.

He came into my room at about 9 this morning, yelling for me to pack my bags and go for a ride with Jacob. Psh.

What a scandal! I could have still been asleep!

But no, my dear old dad insisted, so my bag is all packed, and I am sat at a table.

'Eating.'

So much for going out for a ride!

When I say 'eating', I actually mean 'sitting-and-watching-Jake-eat-everything-in-sight-to-hold-me-up-and-cheese-me-off.'

He's quite good at that these days. Good to know he's putting his (few) talents to use.

It's not a very fun past time. I wouldn't recommend it, really. He is like a pig. Or a Pigoplytoperus, which is apparently a scaly pig that lives in the mountains and can fly. According to my uncle Marcus, that is.

And he's as dim as a dingbat.

On the other hand, this brings a whole new meaning to 'when pigs fly'. If anyone uses that I might get a pet pigo-thingy. It would be so cool! Can you imagine, a huge black thing floating out of the sky, eating all the Slytherins (providing my dad is not an idiot and I _am_ a Gryffindor) and bringing auntie Annette back to life with her incredible knowledge of pasta?

I would marry that pig. And Aunt Annette. And the pasta.

I really, really love it.

I hope the house elves can make me some, because then I would marry them all, and turn them into slaves.

Could you imagine _that_? I could say 'Rise, oh mighty house elves! We must defeat The Dark Lord, and celebrate with Pasta!'

And they would actually do that.

Oh look, the pigo-thing has looked up from his meal of bread and soup. (well, I think its soup, but anything is possible in this house)

He grinned at me. _Christ_. It's hideous!

"What time do you want to go out then?" the demonic creature asked, then pushing a slab of bread into his over-used mouth.

I snorted- clearly he was blind.

"In case you haven't noticed, oh dear brother of mine, I have been ready for the past hour, after tacking up both horses, getting changed and sat here watching you."

In can be hilariously cutting when I want to. And sarcastic. The funny thing is he is eight- and eight year olds do not generally know this.

For some mysterious reason, however, he has an incredibly large vocabulary, including some most spectacular swear words and stuff. Seriously.

He snorted back.

Dear god, he had made the full transformation! I am proud owner of a boy-pig thing!

Oh the joys.

"Oh. Give me a minute and I'll get ready, okay?"

I sighed. 'One minute' in boys speak is the equivalent of 3 hours in girls speak (for eating, it's probably the other way round getting ready for a party or dance, .).

"Fine"

Psh.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Later<strong>_

_**In the stables, waiting for Jacob.**_

Can that boy get ANY SLOWER!

I have been waiting for _almost a bloody hour! _

What an imbecile!

Poor old Ghost (my brothers pony. She's ancient, and dad tried (and failed) to convince us she was a magical unicorn that could talk) has been waiting here tied up for an hour with Lee, I'm sat on him now.

How typical is it that I forgot my horses name is Lee, and called my owl Leo?

Very is the answer.

Oh, hang on! I have spotted a mysterious creature coming from the house! It's a miracle!

"Oi, Jake will you hurry up?" the boy ignored me and slowly walked his way down to us, smirking. Cocky git.

"I am so terribly sorry, _dear Katherine_-"-(DIE EVIL NAME DIE)- "-But mum wanted a word with me,"

Wow! Was that sarcasm? I'm so proud. Not.

Eventually he got on Ghost, and we set off. Slowly.

We trotted steadily for about ten minutes down this little overgrown track (I found it, so it's MY track) before stopping. I looked around to see Jake, but the pig had mysteriously vanished.

Such a shame.

Wait- once again I am wrong- I blame karma for this! - The chubby ones have appeared. Jake is funny to watch, when he rides, sitting there, wobbling away like some idiotic jelly. He pulled the grey pony to a stop, and then called over to me.

I can't hear a word he's saying.

I think he said tree. And pond.

What the _Hell_ could that mean?

Maybe he fell in a lake, then a tree fell on him... oh, I can see it now... heh.

I rolled my eyes and Lee cantered over to him. He was a very attractive shade of pink.

"Katesspdritreefeliponehurded..."he blabbed out.

What the _HELL _does_ THAT _mean_?_

"What? Sorry, didn't catch a word of that," I smirked. Imbecilic boy.

"Spider... tree... huge...pond...fell...Owwwwww"

Thanks for clearing _that_ up for me. Helpful.

I pressed him a bit more.

"You saw a spider in a tree, and then fell in the pond?"

He nodded, shaking.

Oh. My. _God_.

What a _wimp_.

I started to laugh. Good grief, I had an unstoppable laughing attack coming on!

Jake looked a bit angry at me, so I tried (key word there) to stop...

...And failed rather spectacularly. I have this incredible skill of pulling a straight face in the middle of a laughing fit, but it makes me laugh more. And there was a _very_ attractive stain down one arm of his top.

Oh dear.

Jake looks more than angry now. His face went all read and blotchy, before he span around Ghost and tickled her flank.

...

Holy Merlin's gym shorts!

That pony kicks!

She did, too, and it almost hit my leg. Violent child.

The sad thing is, lee is not a very brave creature, as I once discovered when I first got him. A fox had appeared out of the track – MY track – and hissed at him. Lee bucked and ran away.

Wimp.

So of course, the idiot did the same again. I yelped and (quite literally, Lee is a big horse) hung on for dear life.

It is not good to die the day before going to Hogwarts.

Oh god, now I have a panicky, ARGHHH! feeling in my stomach. As well as being stuck on some lunatic horse.

My life is incredible.

I pulled him to a stop and turned to glare at Jacob, who was sat on ghost, laughing.

Hang on – one moment ago he was spitting fire balls and making his pony kick me! Now he's laughing?

I think he's mentally unstable. And possibly bipolar.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Evening,<strong>_

_**Lying on my bed. Of pain. **_

Ohh I feel ill.

The horrible, horrible sick-y I-am-about-to-collapse/faint-and-not-be-able-to-go-to-Hogwarts ill.

It's not nice.

Upon saying that, though, mum did serve me pasta.

In bed.

A knocking had interrupted my (not so) many thoughts, revealing her.

She was holding a bowl of steaming, beautiful pasta.

"Katie, are you alright? You looked rather pale earlier,"

Don't worry, I'm feeling much better at the sight of the lovely food.

But if I looked ill, maybe if I played ill she would do it again...

Free Pasta!

In bed!

"Errgh, I'm okay" I sighed, "just a little nervous,"

She looked at me sympathetically, and wandered over to my bed, and popped the delicious pasta on my bed. Still in the bowl, obviously. Only an idiot would just chuck pasta onto white bedclothes, only to clean it off themselves.

She patted my head (How _Dare_ she!) and sat down on my bed.

"Don't worry about it- you're doing better than I did at your age. I ran off to the bathroom every few minutes. You and your father are much braver than me at these things,"

Well, duh, I'm going to be a _Gryffindor_, not a _Hufflepuff_.

"So I brought you some pasta to make you feel better."

Oh I love this woman.

Really, really love her.

I think I forgive her for the book incident.

"Thanks mum. I feel okay now, so it's all good. I'll have the pasta still, though,"

She chuckled and ruffled my hair again, then got up and left me in peace.

Ohh, that pasta was nice. So _very, very_ nice.

I could live on the stuff, if I could.

Seriously.

Oh _god_, only 14 hours until I board the train!

* * *

><p><em><strong>1<strong>__**st**__** September**_

_**Some completely **_**Ridiculous**_** time in the morning. **_

_**Panicking.**_

Some complete _berk_ has woken me up before 8.00. That is the official killing offence.

I blame Olivia.

I think she got back from 'David's' sometime last night – I don't know, I was hibernating in a dark, dark room, trying not to melt and die.

Anyway, she burst into my room screeching, telling me to get up and dressed so we won't be late.

It is only _7.30_. We have _3 hours_ until we need to leave.

It's not very pleasant, either, to wake up to a half dressed girl, screeching like a banshee.

She could screech for England, given the chance.

I would become rich!

3 hours!

Ohh.

* * *

><p><strong>The ultimate things I need to do today so I don't diehyperventilate/fall over and get very embarrassed.**

Get to the station nice and early. Better chance of seats!

Say bye to the family and escape from 'Liv, avoiding all emotional scenes mum may/may not put on.

Remember something to do, so I don't look like some goon sat alone in a carriage

Stay away from the evil older Slytherins

Stay away from older years that may kick me out of my compartment.

Find someone so this doesn't happen.

Get there without making an absolute fool of myself.

Get sorted into Gryffindor.

Breath.

Survive.

* * *

><p><em><strong>About 10.30<strong>_

_**Leaving to the station.**_

My stomach has decided to turn upon itself and have a feast on my intestines.

I am that nervous.

I am sat in the living room, on my own, waiting.

Again. I seem to spend half my life waiting.

Of course, that is because I was an evil person in a past life.

But if that _is_ true, then why is almighty god taking it out on _me_?

It's not _my_ fault!

Dad wanted to apparate to Kings Cross, but, we were supposed to be there quite a while ago.

Mum and Olivia took Jake with them and went by floo, with the trunks and bags, leaving me with dad to 'sort some things out'.

Oh dear.

That probably means we will hop on the train with two- oh, wait, wrong again. Here he is now.

"Come on Katie, hurry so were on time,"

I snorted – I had been the one waiting for half an hour.

With a pop we got to the platform.

I really, really hate apparating. It is _awful_.

I forgot my moment's displeasure by looking at the train.

It was a huge red old fashioned steam train, and it was pouring starry steam out of its funnel. It was amazing!

There were so many people there, to, loads of families hugging and boarding the train, or just standing around. Like us.

My stomach fluttered again. Ahh, I don't like this...

Dad had evidently spotted mum; he tugged on my arm and led me over nearer the back of the train. The three of them were there, and Jake grinned at me. Wow, he was being nice! Amazing!

I grinned back, and stopped next to mum and gave her a hug.

Tears filled her eyes and she patted my head _AGAIN_! Oh, I hate that.

"Don't worry about it, you'll be fine...-''who said I was worried? "-...and you can come home for the holidays, make sure you write lots, and your stuff is already on the train, we found you a compartment," I pulled out of her hug and smiled – she was being nice too! It makes a nice change from having books thrown at my head.

Olivia had left already, so I said goodbye to dad (he gave me practically the same speech of mum).

"Be a Gryffindor or I will disown you!" he smiled down. Well then. Thanks a lot, love you too.

Jake looked quite sad as I went to get on the train – so I gave him a hug.

How nice am I? Very. He instructs his pony to kick me, and then feels sorry. So I gave him a hug and a clapped him on the shoulder.

"Don't be sad, I'm sure you'll find someone else to annoy when I'm gone." I told him. Apparently he was grateful for this piece of information, because he smiled and waved at me.

I got on the train, through the small carriage door.

It is a really, really small door- I doubt that the 7th years can fit through them standing up straight.

The fun of being short. And young.

I settled myself into the compartment – I was all alone. _Bugger_. I need to find someone so I don't get kicked out!

The train started to move, and it whistled. I think I have burst my ear drums; seriously, it was nearly as bad as the pigeons. I hate pigeons.

Mum and co. Waved at me as the train pulled out of the station.

Awww, I don't want to go. But then again, I do. Leave them, I mean. Not not go to Hogwarts! That's a scandal!

Eh, oh well. I have Leo to keep me company. Maybe he can live in my dorm...

Oh I am so tired. I was up quite literally all night, curled up in bed trying to sleep and prevent my stomach eating itself. Not fun.

Bloody hurt, actually, and that silly muggle medicine mum gave me is a failure. Mum has no magical remedies or medicines in the house, because she nearly poisoned dad when Olivia was 3. It's stupid.

I think I should take up healing, it looks good... then again, we choose stuff in 3rd year, and it depends what house I'm in and if I die. If I'm a Slytherin, I die. I don't want to be a Slytherin!

Have I mentioned that pigeons annoy me? If not, I REALLY _HATE_ THEM!

There is one tapping at the window of my compartment, with the stupid blue thing spellotaped to its leg. Owls are better. Speaking of owls, Leo doesn't appear to like pigeons either. He has his head turned up in the air and is glaring, like a really, really evil die-now-stupid-pigeon glare. (I know it because I pull that face a lot too. I don't blame him.)

I let in the pigeon; stupid feathery git flew in and flapped around for a while, not letting me grab its leg. Stupid thing.

In the end Leo glared (again) at him – the bird dropped the letter and flew away. I slammed the door shut, and he was gone!

Yay for Leo, killer of pigeons!

I may make him a crown.

He deserves it.

Oh look, the letter is from my father, the only lunatic mad enough to use pigeons instead of owls!

What a surprise!

_Dear Katie,_

_You managed to leave behind your hat and gloves, with a few other bits that we will send on to you soon. Yes, I know, you don't like pigeons, so I will use Jeremy for the journey. Have fun!_

_GET INTO GRYFFINDOR!_

_Love and hugs _

_Dad. x_

Psh.

That bloke is far too over obsessed. I don't blame him – 'Liv was a Ravenclaw, and Jake may not even be going to Hogwarts at this rate – mum wants a 'change' and to send him to _Beuxbatons_.

What kind of name is _that?_

It's French though, so anything could be possible. And it's run (according to dad, according to his cousin according to his son) by a huge half giant. Oh god.

Anyway, why _would_ you even want to go to somewhere that isn't Hogwarts? It's the best school ever!

I still feel rather lonely... dear god, if I take back all my sins that I don't even know I have committed, would you give me some company? And perhaps some food, and to go anywhere that isn't Slytherin?

Nah - didn't think so. My karma is too bad.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Still on the Hogwarts Express<strong>_

_**Getting dark now.**_

_**Still lonely.**_

Oh good grief, I appear to have fallen asleep! Well, not now obviously, I just woke up. There are people yelling and running up and down the corridor thingy outside.

At least I haven't been kicked out of here yet. That's a first.

Oh, I see what the commotion is all about- the food cart is two compartments down from mine!

Yay!

I jumped up and went to get something, leaving my compartment alone.

Whoops. Big mistake no.1, successfully made.

When I got back, a small girl with dark red hair and green eyes was in my compartment.

...

Okay then...

I slid open the door and came back in, she jumped and looked up, blushing.

Wow! I think I'm taller than her! It's another miracle.

"Err, sorry... I didn't think anyone was in here and Sev just went off with some others so I was alone and-"

She broke off, blushing and looked down. I sat down on the opposite seat, swinging my legs in front of Leo's cage.

"It's fine, don't worry. I'm Katie Armstrong, by the way – first year. Want a bean?" I grinned at her, holding out a packet of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans to her.

I'm such a nice person.

She looked a bit confused, and then smiled back. Good, I wasn't _too_ intimidating. She took one and popped it in her mouth.

"Thanks. I'm Lily, Lily Evans. First year too,"

"Thank god! I was wondering if I was the only one, I've been in here most of the time and actually haven't seen anyone as short as me."

Lily grimaced slightly and swallowed, wrinkling up her nose in disgust.

"What are these beans, anyway? Because that tasted like paper, and the boys I was in a compartment with before were eating frogs..."

Ahh. She's a muggleborn!

I like muggleborns, mum had a friend once, and _she_ was a muggleborn and had a big black moving thingy in her garden.

I nodded at her. "Are you a muggleborn?"

She looked confuse again. I popped another bean in my mouth. Mmm, cherry. I like cherry. How cool would it be if they made pasta ones of these? I would marry Bertie Bott.

I tried again. "Are any of your family magical? Did you know about magic before you were eleven?" her expression cleared a little bit.

"No. I met Severus, though, and he sort of told me... but before that, no. And my sister hates me because of it." She let out a long sigh. Awww. I knew what it felt like, having stroppy siblings. Evil gits they are, too.

"Eh, she'll come round. Mine did. But the beans – look out for them. They are every flavour- literally. My dad got a rock flavoured one before. Not nice. Chocolate frogs are good, it's only a charm s it's not like you're eating an actual frog."

Lily laughed, and took another few beans.

We sat there for a while, jabbering on about life before Hogwarts, and muggle friends whilst eating beans. I found a rice flavoured one, but it isn't _quite_ the same as pasta. Oh.

"Hey, Lily, did you say you knew a few of the other first years?" I asked eventually.

She looked a bit surprised (after all, a minute ago we were comparing sisters.)

"Err, yea, but the ones I saw weren't very nice. They kept raving on about houses or something, and one being forced into Slytherin because of his blood..."

"OH! The houses! There are four of them, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Everyone say Slytherin are evil, and I have _no_ intention of going there. And blood purity is just a line of wizards – if your entire family were wizards, you are probably a pureblood. I am, but dad loves muggles. Then there are half-bloods – a muggle or muggleborn parent and a wizarding parent, then the muggleborns, who have no magic in their blood."

Lily looked a little bit put off.

"Like me..." she said softly. Oh god, I hope didn't offend her, Merlin knows what them others said to her about it.

"It doesn't really make a difference, you know. We all start from scratch, and the houses aren't all that bad. Just Slytherin are a funny bunch."

"So you don't want to be a Slytherin then, I take it?" she grinned. Ahah, I had uncovered a sense of humour! Success!

I grimaced back, "No, I'm okay. Dad wants me to be a Gryffindor. Mum was a Hufflepuff. Here, look at this. He's obsessed!" I held out the letter, and she read it before bursting out laughing. I grinned back, and she calmed herself down.

Mistake no.1, _not_ made. Phew.

"Oh god, are all purebloods like that?" she asked

"Haven't a clue – only met one or two. But I think my family are mentally disadvantaged, and also bipolar,"

Lily shook her head, smiling and then got up.

"D'you think we should get changed? It's getting dark, and I think we're slowing down."

I nodded in agreement, and we grabbed our robes and went to the small rooms at the back of the carriage.

I only have black robes still, I'll get the house colours (RED) when I'm sorted (GRYFFONDOR). I hope. I don't like green; it clashes rather badly with my height. I could look like a blob of moss. Attractive.

As I came out of the room, a pair of boys came sprinting in – both with black hair and a big bundle of clothes in their arms, knocking me aside rather roughly.

Abuse!

Another paler boy with sandy brown hair followed them. I smiled, being the friendly person I am, and he weakly smiled back.

"Oi, Remus, get your arse in here, its empty!" one of them called through. A head of messy black hair appeared round the side of the door and grinned at me.

"Sorry 'bout that, Black here wanted that cubicle, the fussy git."

A pair of glasses slid down his nose, and he roughly pushed them up, and held open the door for the other boy.

"Eh, I'll live. You a first year?"

"Yup, and I WILL be a Gryffindor!"

Yay! More Gryffindor wanna-be's, like me!

"Haha, same! See you at the table,"

With a wave he disappeared round the door and it slammed – I heard a loud crash and a few swears come from behind it. Boys.

Complete and utter goons. Oh well.

Jake is worse.

I walked back to the compartment to find Lily sitting, staring out of the window. The train shuddered to a halt, and another whistle blew.

Oh I hate that noise!

"Come on then, mate, off we get!" I grabbed Leo's cage and lily grabbed a small bag, then we were shunted onto the platform.

Ohh, it's cold!

Surely it isn't always this cold? I'll _die_!

Normally it's really sunny back home. Sunny for England, that is.

When it's not raining.

"Firs' years! Firs' years, ove' here!" a booming voice came over the heads of the crowd.

I grabbed Lily's arm (she appeared to have frozen in shock, but that could have just been the cold,) and made our way across to a huge, huge man surrounded by more small people.

Well, I can't exactly talk, but they were all around my height. Apart from the 3 I saw earlier, who were reasonably taller.

Oh Merlin, the big guy's taking us to the lake! Surely we don't have to swim across? To find out the houses? Because I'd end up in Slytherin, oh my god, I can't swim very well and-

Oh. There are boats. Whoops.

Like I said, I am always wrong.

I blame you, spiritual me.

Stupid karma.

* * *

><p><em><strong>In the Great Hall,<strong>_

_**Later Still**_

Bloody hell! It's amazing in here! There are huge long tables (oh god, look it's Olivia. Look away, look away!) And big gold plates.

What is strange is there doesn't appear to be a ceiling. Well, I was told it was enchanted to look like the sky, but I never thought it was that awesome. I thought it was blue. Whoops.

The boat ride here was fun; we were in little groups of 4. Lily and I got into one, followed by the sandy haired boy and a shorter blond.

Nothing _too_ terrible happened – but I saw the squid! Some of the boys up front were prodding it's tentacles with a stick, and then it flinched and almost tipped over this boat. Sadly that boat held a bunch of fake girls slagged up in skirts and make-up, but they didn't fall out.

Now _that_ would have been funny.

When we got out, we actually saw the castle for the first time. A really short girl behind me gasped, her hand shooting up to her mouth and sparks shooting out of the wand clenched tightly in her hand.

She could have set me on fire!

But I'm too nice to get stroppy with people shorter than me because, let's face it; I am shorter than most people myself. Even Jakes taller than me and he's eight.

The huge guy knocked on the front door, and a witch appeared in very dark blue robes, wearing a hat and holding a scroll.

We walked through the entrance in silence, and she stopped us at the bottom of a flight of stairs, preparing to give a speech. Oh _such_ _fun_. I _love_ speeches.

Haha, not.

"Now, inside these doors are all the students at Hogwarts. You will each go through a sorting into your own house, which will be either of the following; Gryffindor (WHOO!) Ravenclaw (Ehh) Hufflepuff (Pshh) and Slytherin (BOOO). Each house has their own noble history, and has produced outstanding witches and wizards. Your house will be your family for the rest of your years at Hogwarts – and when you are sorted, there can be no changes."

A boy at the back flinched slightly, whilst a few of the others (supposable new Slytherins) jeered.

The professor glared at them before continuing.

"I will call out your names in alphabetical order, where you will come and sit at the stool, and try on the sorting hat..."

Wait - WHAT!

Holy motherfu-

I'm first! A! A for Armstrong! Nooooooo...

Not good.

Not good at all! Prepare for mad hyperventilating attack!

Oh no. Nononononooooo...

I don't like it. I want to go last!

The group moved into the hall, and we got into a line.

The professor started to read out names.

"Abercrombie, Alexander!"

Oh, phew! I'm not first! Yes!

"Hufflepuff!" called the hat. I think it sang earlier, I can't honestly remember.

"Armstrong, Katie!"

ARGH! Holy Merlin's baggy right sock, no!

I small push on my back made me move forward and I stumbled to the stool.

The hall peered at me, before it vanished, under the sides of the hat.

"Ahh, look! Another one of you, young Armstrong," the hat said. Well, I think he said. I'm not too sure anymore.

"Err, yea. Me. Hi. Can I go into Gryffindor, please?"

"Hmm, let me have a look here first... ah, nice and loyal, and brave, not Slytherin for you, little one..."  
>YAY not Slytherin!<p>

"But you have a decent brain, maybe, Ravenclaw?"

"No, let me be a Gryffindor!"

"No, no, far too insistent for Ravenclaw. Now you mother was a Hufflepuff, wasn't she?"

Oh god. I blame mum for this! I might be a Hufflepuff! Nooo.

"Yes she was, but apparently you have to be nice and kind and gentle for Hufflepuff. The other day she threw a book at my head."

The hat chuckled.

"Ahh, she was an experiment... would you like to be an experiment?"

Arghh, no! Silly hat, don't tease me! Let me be a Gryffindor!

"But you are good and brave, good reactions and a kind heart-"

That sounds so mushy.

"-So you had better be..."

"Don't you dare say Hufflepuff."

"GRYFFINDOR!"

YES!

Hah, I win!

The professor pulled the hat off of my head and gave a small smile.

I just realised how long I had been with the hat. At least two minutes. Whoops.

Eh, I'm a Gryffindor! What a silly hat, wanting to use me as an experiment for Hufflepuff!

Oh, god, Olivia looks a bit stroppy. I think she thought I would be a Ravenclaw. HAH.

I sat down at the end of the table, where a few people clapped me on the back, and others merely grinned.

The person after me, "Barton, Arnold!" went into Ravenclaw (Liv shot me a smug look. Git.)

And then the boy on the train stumbled up to the platform.

"Black, Sirius!"

He sat down on the stool, but this time, I noticed, there was a series of muttering spreading along the right side of the hall. Evidently the Slytherins wanted him.

Oh I am so hungry. I need pasta.

Lots of pasta. And pizza. And chocolate.

The hat seemed to be debating with itself, and sat on the boys head for a good five minutes, before announcing,

"GRYFFINDOR!"

The hall was silent for a split second, then Gryffindor table broke out into applause, I helped. Slytherin sat glaring, grumpy gits.

The boy stayed a second to long on the stool and blushed madly.

After one glance at the Slytherins (now hissing rather menacingly) he came and sat on the bench next to me.

He sank rather low down; face still red and eyes wide in shock.

Oh dear.

Time for friendly Katie act.

The hall was relatively quiet, as the hat started to move a bit quicker, now in the D's. Slithering gained a student, so did Ravenclaw.

The boy looked up as a scattering of applause marked "Dodd, Kyle" into Hufflepuff, then looked at me.

"Hey,"

"Hi there,"

Oh dear awkward silence.

He sat up now and smiled a bit strainedly at me, but still, it was a smile.

"I'm Sirius, Sirius Black," he grimaced slightly. "First ever Black to become a Gryffindor."

Ahh. Pureblood families, grey wizards.

"I'm Katie Armstrong – almost the sorting hats new experiment to Hufflepuff. Stupid thing tried to _trick_ me into being a _Hufflepuff_!"

Sirius smiled and flicked his hair out of his eyes.

"Armstrong... any relation to Paul Armstrong, of the Department of Mysteries?"

I nodded.

"Yep. The lunatic is my dad. And he keeps carrier pigeons."

A cheer disrupted our conversation, as Lily Evans approached our table, a silly grin on her face as she sat down opposite me. Sirius' face instantly dropped, and he sat brooding for a while.

I grinned at Lily – we were together! I was right about blood- it honestly doesn't matter.

Maybe God _DID_ answer my prayer, and forgave me for my sins! Yay!

In the end, me, Sirius and Lily were joined by six other boys- the one from the train, two from the boat, mums friend Augusta's son, Frank, with a darker skinned bloke, and another blond, slightly plumper than the first.

We got another six girls too- _six_. A reasonable looking few that sat down with me and Lily, then the other 3 sat at the end, casting suspicious glances around.

Grumpy gits.

They were Gryffindors! Everyone loves us!

Apart from the grouchy black haired boy next to me, who still appears to be rather moody and broody.

The entire hall then went quiet, and I glanced to the head table.

Albus Dumbledore had stood up, tapping a spoon against a goblet, and then started to speak.

"To our new hands- Welcome! And to those returning – welcome back! We have two new professors joining us this year, so kindly put your hands together for Professor Casius, who will take Defence Against Dark Arts, and Professor Sinistra, who will take Astrology."

There is a time for speechmaking, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

He sat down, and instantly the plates were full of food. Oh. My. God.

I have honestly never seen so much food, ever.

And they had pasta. Delicious, delicious pasta.

"Hey, Lil? Could you pass me that pasta? Now?"

Oh it looked sooo good. I am in love.

Lily did as requested, and I popped almost the entire plate onto my plate, then handed it back.

Lily shot me a slightly worried look, but I smiled.

"Don't worry, Lily, I have an insane obsession for this stuff. Are there any other types?"

She passed me a big pot of green spaghetti (oh it was sooo tasty) and then we all (minus the three snobs) were caught in conversation.

The train boys were Sirius Black and James Potter, who had made quite firm friends along with Remus Lupin (the sandy haired one) and the short blond, Peter Pettigrew. There was Frank Longbottem and his friend Dominic Holder, his cousin Lance Walten, and the three other girls – Marlene McKinnon, Mary Macdonald and Emmeline Vance.

You have no idea (you wouldn't anyway, books don't eat) how amazing that food was!

The pasta was almost like Annette's, just without the Italianness. And we had pumpkin juice. Ohh, I am in love. Deep, unbreakable _love_.

Afterwards, dessert appeared. They had cakes and pies and pretty much everything there, but I saw it. The second love of my life.

Honey and cinnamon waffles.

I am not leaving this table ever again. I request we always have waffles. Even for breakfast (I have them at home, it's a routine!) and I will steal these house elves to make them make me waffles and pasta.

However, to the left of me, Sirius was being rather quiet. Now, I am being observant (What? Amazing!) And noticed this, which was strange, because on the train he and the other pair were running around merrily. And he wasn't eating, unlike pretty much everyone, including sticky slaggy over there.

"Sirius, what's up?"

The boy flinched slightly before shaking his head slightly and glancing at the Slytherin table. Oh dear.

I knew that face. It was the face dad pulled when he found that Olivia was a Ravenclaw – betrayal.

"Nothing... it doesn't matter."

"Were you expected to be in Slytherin? Or is it just a family thing?"

Sirius sighed, then glanced at everyone else in their mini conversations.

"Yes. You know when the hall went silent? That's because I'm a Black. All of us – apart from Drommie, she's a Ravenclaw, but that's acceptable – and I have just become a Gryffindor. That's pretty much treachery, a disgrace to the family... I'm not going to hear the end of it now."

Oh dear. He looked all mopey again, so I offered him chocolate. Chocolate is amazing.

"Yes, but really, it isn't your fault. I had a huge argument with the hat about being Gryffindor, but I would have been one anyway. You can't help it; the hat wanted you to be a Gryffindor."

Sirius accepted the chocolate and smiled weakly.

"But I _chose_ to be. They'll _kill_ me for being different. I didn't want to be Slytherin because it didn't seem right – but I don't know anymore.

"My grandfather –Arcturus Black - Minister of Magic, looks highly on us all being the same..."

I gasped. The minister? My dad had gone and met him occasionally, bringing me with him. The minister was with a pair of boys.

"Sirius, do you have a brother?"

He looked a bit shocked.

"Err, yea, Regulus. Two years younger than me. Why?"

I grinned – It WAS!

"Sirius, it's me! Katie! You know, about three years ago, in the ministry? Really short, accompanied Paul Armstrong, good friends that were actually allowed because I'm pureblood..."

His eyes widened and he grinned.

Yes! I am amazing at making people happy.

Katie: 2, bad mood: 0.

HAH.

"Oh yeah, I seem to remember getting Reg in a headlock, then he pushed me into the fountain..."

"And then I fell in to, because you _grabbed_ me."

He chuckled. "Good times,"

I helped myself to a tiny blob of ice cream- across from me, James didn't – he kept the whole bowl, much to Lily's disgust.

I have a strange feeling those two are going to be in for a rocky ride together.

Oh well, it's all entertaining.

"How is Reggie? I haven't seen the two of you in years," I asked.

Sirius sighed.

"Being tricked by dear old mum. I don't know If he'll go with me, or them." A sour look entered his expression.

Don't be grumpy! I'm curious and have an inferior complex! At least he is sarcastic –I need a sarcastic person to understand my sarcastic ways. Lily has already proven she's useless with the talent.

James jumped in to save the day, and he and Remus soon had Sirius smiling again – their talents match mine.

The little blond – Peter – was watching adoringly.

That's quite creepy, actually.

I hope someone doesn't pull that face at me...

I reached out for another waffle, but the plates cleared, and I was left holding thin air. Oh. I wanted a waffle.

Someone sniggered behind me – I think it was Frank, only his voice is that deep at the moment.

The headmaster got up and gave another speech ("have fun, learn stuff, and don't go in the forest or out of bounds at night") then we all got up and left.

Bugger, Olivia tried to follow me! She came up behind me, Lily and Emma, trying to be sneaky. She failed, and we pushed through the slag group, leaving her behind.

Hah. Take _that_, evil sister!

She is going to really bug me if she keeps doing that. Il spend the rest of my life under a cape, hiding from her, being unable to do anything for the fear of finding me.

Fun.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Common Room (almost) <strong>_

_**Late**_

Oh, god, look at the stairs! There are _hundreds_!

And Gryffindor tower is on the 7th floor.

And I am currently stood 7 floors below it.

Bugger. I really can't be bothered to climb.

We followed a prefect up there, slowly climbing and climbing, (well, I was going slowly, Lily was going slowly to stay with me) and the slag's had fallen at least a staircase behind. Lazy gits.

The seven boys, however, are easily making their way up. That's not fair!

I request one of those muggle things – a stair lift. That would beat them.

When we got to the common room, I collapsed into a huge red couch, with Lily next to me. There was a massive fire place and fire in the fire place (duh, where else would it be?) with banners everywhere.

And it smelt like vanilla. I like vanilla.

The prefect guy told us where our dorms where (I'm with Lily, Emma and Marlene) and then left us alone.

Bugger, I'm tired.

We all sat for a while, just chilling on the sofas (slaggo's went to bed, with Frank and co.) looking at everyone.

There are so many people!

Eventually I saw Lily's eyes drooping, and she would have fallen asleep. Me, being the lovely nice person that I am, got up and shook her, or she would have fallen asleep surrounded by the lads. Go knows what James would have done.

We dragged (literally) ourselves up to the dorm where Emma and Marlene were already in bed, sleeping.

Oh the lucky things. I'm so tired, and cold.

Lily went to the middle of the room, where a heat-y thing was sat (well, it think that's what it was) and clicked it – hot air came out.

Ahh. That's better.

I hopped into bed - after getting changed (duh) and snuggled down.

A small hoot came across the room. Leo!

My trunks are all up here and everything. Good.

So, I am all nice and warm, not alone, in Gryffindor, and I survived.

I think I deserve a medal.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Aren't I lovely, getting up a chapter now? This is my valentines present for you! <strong>_

_**Thanks for adding to favourites, those that did. It made me happy, very, very happy. **_

_**Review? Please?**_

_**~Wolffe41 x**_

_**^see, I'm being nice because it's Valentine's day. Haha. **_


	3. Ohh, Lets have fun in History!

**2nd September, some ridiculously early time, my room.**

I am going to _KILL_ Lily Evans.

Evidently I forgot to tell her I am _not_ a morning person, because she _woke me up_.

At half. Past. _6._

Does she have a death sentence?

I mean, really, what sane, normal person would do that? Not Lily.

So there I was, sleeping innocently (Is there any other way to sleep?), when suddenly - I thought I was going mad. People storming around, stomping their feet and yelling, then someone ripped my covers off!

How dare they!

I had dug myself a little cocoon-y thing too, one of the things that butterflies go into and turn into a whatever, and it was sooo warm...

"Oi – hurry up Armstrong! We're going to be late!"

Yep, that's Lily alright. Only she would panic that much.

A pillow flew at the side of my head, and found its target. Evil little gits! It hit my bloody temple!

How friendly.

"Lily middle-name-unknown Evans – are you _MAD_? It's half bloody six! And if that was you that threw that pillow, I will get your head and feed it to a hippogriff," I threatened. I'm relatively good at threatening, all from Jake.

She shut up.

Hah.

She pulled back some curtains and I was attacked by gold light – like, really bright gold light- and pretty much wrestled me upright.

I think I might get up now, she's getting quite stroppy. Moody bum hole.

Ohh, it's still really warm! I sighed happily and ignored the huge glare Lilykins gave me. I think we left the heat-y thing on all night, because I feel like a house elf cooking a spit roast. Just without the oil. And the pig.

Errgh, I really can't be bothered to get up. Maybe I could send someone down to say I sadly died – and can't do lessons for a week and must have waffles brought to me... I could blackmail Sirius into doing it... hang on...

Haha, 'Black' mail! Look at that! It's an amazing pun! Almost as good as Sirius. I mean, Siriusly, how could he not expect this?

And he's named after a dog star.

I was named after my great aunt fanny – her middle name was Katie. Thank Merlin Dad said 'No, I will not name my daughter Fanny' or I could have committed social suicide at the embarrassment.

I might do it anyway, Lily has caused such a scene the entire tower is probably awake. They'll point at me and whisper 'look at that girl... her friend woke us all up... and it's _all her fault_... lazy arsehole...'

How bad would that be?

Anyway, I'm rambling. Moving back to the waffles...

Ah, waffles.

Errmm, hang on, no, no such luck. I won't be able to get a free house elf served/ Siriusly served breakfast because Lily is screeching like a banshee.

"_If you don't get up now, we will be late and get a detention! On the first day! Do you know how bad that will be?"_

She's really wound up, now. It's pretty funny.

Maybe I should tell her that us lot have our first lesson at ten on the first day.

Not nine.

And _not_ this early.

Ah well. I might put a stop to this. And then get some more sleep.

I dragged myself out of bed and glared at her.

I have a really evil glare.

I mean really, _really_ evil.

Like a death glare of doom. (Doom, I say, Doooooomm!)

"Lily," I said, trying to be reasonable (I know, it's a miracle!), "us first years have another three and a half hours before our first lesson. We have _lie-ins_."

She looks rather smug. Git.

I think the other two have already gone down (prior to Lily's yelling spree, I don't blame them) because they are not up here.

Duh.

"For your information, Armstrong, it's Amelia. But that's not the point! We will be _late_!" she got up and stood pretty much nose to nose with me. Her face has gone a rather attractive shade of red. Like her hair, but not so orange.

I took a step back.

Oh dear – orange has glared at me. She does have an evil-I-want-to-stab-you-if-you-make-me-late-glare. It's _very_ flattering.

Holy shi- I think she saw that!

She brought back her fist and it hit my stomach. I grunted – but not like a gross piggomabob grunt like Jake.

Because that is most un-lady-like.

Owwww, my arm!

Good Merlin – she's violent! How dare she hit me! With her bag, no less!

Abuse!

I'm going to try the calm approach. Inner peace is good. Relax...

She's still glaring.

What an imbecile!

Lessons _do_ start at ten.

And it is now... 27 minutes to 7.

I could be asleep!

I tried to repeat my earlier advice. _Calmly_.

"Lily, we get lie-ins on the first day – lessons start at _10_. From tomorrow they start at _9_. All we need to do is have breakfast and get timetables. Nothing else... _Relax_..."

She put down her bag and started to pace around the room.

Is it a dormitory, or a room?

I think I might just call it a room... dormitory sounds rather stuffy and posh. Like slaggy that (I presume) is downstairs.

But still, wow, I think it worked!

Lily looked rather shocked, and the colour of her face went normal again. Phew.

"Oh." She muttered, and then sat down on her bed.

Huh.

* * *

><p><strong>My Room, later than it was earlier.<strong>

Lily did let me go back to bed (yay!) and snooze, but at half seven she was pacing like a hen, prodding me as I got dressed.

"Katie, your back has a funny curve on it, did you know?"

Err, what?

"Lily, what are you raving on about now?" I asked, nicely because I am such a nice person.

She poked me again, right at the base of my spine with a cold finger. I got goose pimples.

I love that word – just saying.

"Look, it goes in a funny dip and has knobbles and bumps in the lump, then it goes straight... are you sure you're a human? Because you resemble a pony."

WHAT! She just resembled me to a pony!

_WHAT!_

"_Lily_! You, mean, evil, _cold_ little child! That's _evil_! I'm not a pony!"

She poked me in the 'knobbly' part (not the boys knobbly part, because I am a girl. Duh.) And looked quite sheepish.

An evil, ginger sheep.

"No, I didn't mean it like that... but ponies have curved backs too, and you do... maybe we should go to the doctors?"

What is a doctor? And why do I need one?

"What?"

"You know, the healing people that make you better-"

"You mean healers,"

She glared at me "- and make you better. Yes, a healing person. You need your brain checked, too."

Thanks, Lily, love you too.

"Once you have finished probing my back, can we go to breakfast? I'm bloody starving," I asked meekly. Yep, lay it on thick for forgiveness. Works every time.

And the puppy eyes. I do amazing puppy eyes. Like, I looked at Olivia once, and then she gave me (yes, GAVE, and remember this is my stroppy pet head girl) a huge block of chocolate.

It took me a week to eat, and I eat quite a lot of chocolate.

Lily nodded enthusiastically "Okay then," and went into the toilet, leaving me merrily alone.

Fun, fun, fun! She has a fluffy little goat toy on her bed. Awww, how sweet.

I finished getting dressed (into my new RED, black and GOLD robes) and she came out of the bathroom with her hair in a long bun.

Okay, I lied. Lily isn't ginger, she's redder. Like a holly berry. And her eyes could be leaves!

Whilst what am I – a thestral with blue eyes. Just about sums it up. Maybe I should go haunt graveyards. Lily can go on a tree. Hooray!

Oh, tree-girl's ready. To the common room! We marched merrily out of the door to start a new day.

That sounds like a really soppy story ending, doesn't it?

Yuck. I don't so soppiness.

I bet slaggy does though.

"Hey Lily, do you know what that girls name was, the really slaggy one with her mini minions?" I asked.

Lily shrugged and wove her way down the staircase.

"I'm not sure - she looked really snobbish yesterday at dinner, and didn't actually speak to any of us, apart from the 'minions'" she said.

I sighed. "Do you think she's evil? Because she gave me a really dirty look, and stalked off when I offered to help her up the trip staircase she fell in,"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"_You_ pushed her _in_ the staircase, Armstrong, so I'm sure she appreciated it. And _then_ you pointed at her and laughed, and the boys did to - let _alone_ help her _out_."

Oh _yeah_! It was _brilliant_! I should have got a picture.

Hah, it would be cool if I already had an enemy, it's always nice to be able to laugh at someone that doesn't like you – you don't fall out because you were never friends!

It's brilliant, flawless and hilarious!

* * *

><p><strong>Common Room, before breakfast.<strong>

I am so hungry.

But then again, everyone in here looks a bit famished and about to eat cushions.

Now _That_ I would want to see.

When Lilykins and I entered the room, about three people looked up. Well then. Makes me feel really loved. Again.

I slouched over to the settee thing (remember, it's early. I'm allowed to slouch) and sat down with a plop.

Not really a plop, because that could be mistaken for something. And I did not just poo on the seat. That's really gross.

"Morning Remus," I smiled at the pale boy at the other end. He smiled back and glanced at the two boys staring into the fire.

"Morning... Katie?" he replied.

I nodded. That is my name, not Fanny or anything else ridiculous (phew).

Said boys are currently ignoring one another, stroppy gits. The little boy with them – Peter, I think- was watching James with a look of delight (stalker-ish, I know.) whilst Sirius sat brooding.

Honestly. First day and they're all moody. Typical creatures, boys. Lily scowled down at James and sat herself down next to me.

James looked at her, and then glared at Sirius.

Oh god.

"Remus?" I asked in a low whisper, "what happened to those two?"

I mean, I have a small suspicion, but I might be wrong. Knowing my karma, I probably am.

It was Remus' turn to sigh; a long, drawn out sigh as he turned to look thoughtfully at me. All the others are talking amongst themselves, unfriendly and unsocial gits.

"You're pureblood, right?"

"Yep, and I met Sirius a few times in the ministry,"

_Oh. _

"Well, you should know about their family problems - they had a massive yelling fit at each other last night, talking about blood and traditions their families have," he started.

I was right! It's not good – well, it means my karma isn't _all_ bad- but still, I was right!

So once again, it is the return of evil-Slytherin-ancestors-with-a-Gryffindor-son vs. A-full-complete-set-of-Gryffindors that hate said first family. Oh dear.

Oh Merlin, my belly just growled rather viciously at me!

Lily has decided to look up from her own broody position and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Was that your _stomach_?" she asks.

I nod glumly.

"Yeah, poor little fellow hasn't been fed yet." I look at it sympathetically. "You don't like being fed this late, do you?"

Lily looks rather confused now. I don't blame her. I just talked to my belly. Good grief, it must be early.

What are we all doing here anyway?

I'm hungry!

"Okay, Katie, I'm sure he doesn't. I know I don't," she replies.

Here we go again – stroppy Lily has returned.

A voice spoke up from the corner of the room.

"I think we can go in a moment, it's only Maya, Alice and Shara left to come down,"

It was Mary! Poor, lonely Mary Macdonald who had to be locked up all alone in a dorm with three strange slags.

I think she has just saved my life, because Lily has relaxed back into the settee, and started tapping her foot.

...

Does she know haw _irritating_ that noise is? I don't think so.

For the past ten minutes it's been thump, thump, thump on the floor, growing louder and louder.

The portrait outside the common room has swung open!

Oh, it's McGonagall! She must have been climbing the stairs!

So it _isn't_ Lily!

Prof. is just standing there, apparently counting us. Errmm, what does she want?

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a wad of parchment.

Ahh, time tables!

Finally! Now I don't have to read and eat at the same time at breakfast, which I am not particularly skilled at.

...

Oh my Merlin.

I have double History of Magic, Potions, DADA, a free period for sleeping and rest, then astronomy at 12.

Ohh, that's _bad_.

History of Magic, double, first period on the first day.

Kill. Me. _NOW_.

Groans have broken out all around me – I join in with a huge sigh. Lily rolls her eyes and popped the parchment in her bag.

Honestly, how can she stay so calm? I know I'm not.

The boys don't look very amused, either.

Sirius has just gotten up and gone over to Professor McGee.

"Professor, I'm sorry, but is this table wrong? Because it seems rather harsh that we have _this_,"

He thrust the parchment into her hand, and she quickly scanned it before pushing her square rimmed glasses up her nose. She held it back out and sighed.

Well, at least someone agrees with me! This is _stupid_!

"I'm sorry mister Black, but you will have to deal with it. Lessons start at ten, but after today they will begin at nine-"

See! I was right! Beat that, Lilykins!

"-and I expect you to be punctual. If I hear you are late more than twice this week, you will get a detention. Now, off to the hall with you," she finished.

It makes us sound like we're cats, doesn't it?

Or a huge herd of sheep.

Oh well, breakfast!

And so we all jumped up and happily ran out of the common room portrait hole thing to the great hall.

We are so easily satisfied.

* * *

><p><strong>Great Hall, Eating. Lots.<strong>

When we reached the hall, a loud rumbling noise reached our ears. Well, it reached mine; anyway, I'm not sure if the others heard it, they may well be deaf.

The hall was about half full, so there was a reasonable amount of people in there. Frank and Lance pushed the doors opens, and with one glance the Slytherins all looked up and hissed as we walked in.

How very mature and friendly.

I can tell why everyone loves the Slytherins. They have such _nice_, _kind_, _forgiving_ characteristics.

We all ignored them and walked past merrily talking amongst ourselves – Lily was scanning the table then waved excitedly at a sallow faced boy with Black curtains.

Eww.

Is that her boyfriend? Because she has real bad taste.

"Who is _that?_" I asked, watching as the boys half smiled, and then made to leave the table before being pulled back by a tall, blond prefect. He shook his head sadly at Lily, and then resumes eating.

Lily looks rather sad.

"That's Sev- he told me all about magic when I was little, before I got my Hogwarts letter. We had big plans to be best friends and be in Slytherin together..."

_Slytherin._

My poor, innocent, muggleborn little Lily going into Slytherin?

I can think of many problems to do with that.

She _my_ Lily, not 'Sev''s

They would torment her for being muggleborn

Green would really clash with her eyes- completely different shade.

They would completely corrupt her innocent little brain.

It didn't happen though, so I can relax a bit.

She still looks really sad, and keeps glancing over at them.

Ehh, only them. Shame, really, that we waste so much _time_, and _energy_ moaning over other houses when we could be _eating_.

But they actually _do not have waffles._

There are hundreds of cereals and toast and bread and pancakes and fruit and crumpets and yoghurts, but _no waffles_.

Its an Outrage!

I'll have to find the kitchens, and make a special request for waffles, with strawberries and cinammon and honey... Mmmm...

How cool would it be if I could do that?

Very, I'm telling you, (well, me really, because if you are reading this, you are trespassing. Nose out, Family, Friends and random strangers. Thank you.)

What if one day i told the house elves to serve something to the Slytherins, like mouldy stuff or a live hippo, , and it went on a rampage and killed them all!

Lily will be glad she is a Gryffindor!

I could make the lads do that, thinking about it...

But anyway, that is completely and utterly besides the point. I have decided to have some raspberries and cranberries, being the ever-so-healthy person that i am.

Haha, not.

My train of thought has just been interrupted by an elbow.

A very pointy, jabby elbow.

It appears to belong to Lily.

Whatever could she want?

"Oi, Armstrong, did you hear a word of what I just said?"

Well, obviously not, I am _eating_. Duh.

"Nope, not a thing. Sorry," I replyed meekly, again. It will not be good to get in Lily's bad books, she looks like the sort of hormonal person that might brutally attack me if I do something wrong.

...

_KATIE! Thats Mean! And Untrue, I'm NOT Hormonal! - L_

Lily! Privacy, child, I need it!

_Take __that__ Back!_

Get out of here!

...

"What was it you wanted, Lily, dear?" Yep, lay it alllll on again.

She glares at me. Whoops.

*Note to self. _DON'T PISS LILY OFF NEAR/WRITING/GENERALLY THINKING AS SHE IS PHSYCIC OR YOU WILL GET HURT!*_

"I asked if we missed half of History Of Magic. And Pettigrew wants the Butter."

Now i think about it, he has been pointing for the past few minutes at it. Once again, whoops.

"Oh Bugger, Sorry, Peter, got a bit lost in my head. We miss half of History, yes Lilypoo."

I passed him the butter, then turned back to Lily, who rolls her eyes and pretended to ignore her new nickname.

I personally think it suits her.

A little snigger errupted from behind me.

"Armstrong, thats the _jam_. Duh" It was James Potter.

"Oh I'm so terribly, _terribly_ sorry if I _offended_ you, one does tend to do that when they are _half starved and craving waffles!_" I shot back.

It's True!

James rolled his eyes, and reached across the table for the desired butter, then handed it to Pettigrew.

Why couldn't he get it himself?

Said boy looked at the other said boy with a look of utter adoration. It's kind of disturbing.

Remus rolls his eyes.

Sirius snorts.

Slaggy-pants just ignores me. Shame.

Lily looked rather satisfied with my previous answer, as she settled herself down and started talking to Emmaline and munching on a piece of toast.

Thanks friend. Appreciate the ignoring-ness.

I turn from her and look down the table.

Frank, Dominic and Lance are talking secretly. Well, not secretly, but together.

James and Peter are talking together, ignoring Sirius.

Sirius is eating, ignoring the other two.

Remus is sat next to him and reading the _Daily Prophet._

Slag and her fellow Minions are talking at the other end, completely away from me (phew).

Lily and Emma and Mary are talking, with their backs almost turned on me. Huh.

Marlene has vanished. Already.

And I am just sat her, watching people eat.

Yay.

The Hufflepuffs have very interesting house colours - Yellow and black. How very, very attractive. Their quidditch robes must resemble banana's.

The fruit.

"Katie, are you actually eating, or are you just taking down notes on us all, and preparing a little documentary on our daily lives? Becuase I could give you an interview worth millions in my later life!"

It's Sirius, he has finally resurfaced!

Finally I don't look like a complete loner!

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Why yes, of course I am. I am secretly plottimg to kill you all, and trying to decide who would be the eastiest to get rid of." Duh.

It was Sirius' turn to give me a funny look, and he flicked his black hair off his face.

"Sounds like an interesting past time, but please start with the Slytherins, preferably my family,"

I made to reply, like the nice person that I still am, that I would happily do so.

Said family are currently watchng us eat. Like Peado's.

It's creepy.

Just as i went to say this, however, James' voice sneered in.

"If you're _so_ worried, why not go over there and join them, like the Black you are,"

Sirius froze. I froze. Several people looked up from their food, and watched with intrest. Oh dear, this is _not_ going to end well.

"Oh, sorry Potter, I didn't know offended your little _honourable, pureblood_ family ways," Came the reply.

Holy Merlin's Sweater, what have I done?

"At least I had the decency to get myself in the right bloody house!"

"Well maybe I didn't _want_ to be here!"

"Well bugger off and join _them_ then, and _stop insulting_ us!"

_"For _fuck's_ sake, I'm not like them, Potter!" _Sirius yells, and jumps up.

Everyone is watching them (and me, I'm sat completely in the middle).

My eardrums are throbbing. I can feel them.

Sirius turned, then with one last snarl at James, left the hall.

Bloody hell!

The hall is still silent, untill the few teachers sat at the head table turned white and continued eating, then it filled with noise again.

Oh, My, _GOD_.

I'm pretty sure that was my fault.

James' face is all red and blotchy, but he turned back to Pettigrew and let off a huge stream of insults.

How rude.

Lily lookes in shock. In fact, most of the Gryffindor table look shocked.

Apart from me, of course, as my brain is superior enough to remember to _breathe_. Yeah right.

Lily was definately holding her breath, as she just exhaled rather loudly in to my poor little ears.

Oww.

Poor Remus is sitting there, looking rather downcast.

I will cheer him up!

"Were they like that all night?" Lily asked sympathetically. No!

I am the cheif cheerer upper, not her!

Remus rolled his eyes (for the fourth time, I'm counting) and nodded.

"Untill I yelled at them, yes. It's ridiculous,"

I agree.

I can only imagine what it is like for him in that little room, with two violent people fighting and the other wetting himself.

He looks pretty ill, too.

And we haven't even finished breakfast, yet.

This is going to be an interesting year.

A very, very interesting year.

* * *

><p><strong>History Of Magic, Later<strong>

This is sooooooooooooooo _boring_!

We are being taught by a deaf, blind old man who keeps raving on about wars and stuff, very quickly and completely unintelligible.

Fun.

After breakfast was finished, we went back to the Common room for half an hour, and finished getting ready.

Marlene eventually reappeared, apparently she went for a walk.

Somehow I don't believe her.

Hmmm.

"Emma?" I asked the lanky brunette who was carefully tyeing her tie. She looked up at me, and gently tugged it down so the tied bit was further down her neck.

"Do you know where Marlene is?" I said. Lily looked up from her trunk, where she was rummaging around looking for a sock.

"I'm not sure, she definately came down to breakfast as I was talking to her... then I talked to Lily, looked round and she had gone!" she replied, exclaiming dramatically as she started to search for robes.

I was all ready, and just casually perched on my bed, watching the two girls hunting around. Quite entertaining, really.

Lily straightened up and looked at a small silver watch on her wrist.

"If she doesn't hurry up, she'll be late," she murmered.

Suddenly, the door swung open, revealing the missing girl!

"Marlene!"Emma exclaimed, jumping up and running over to her.

Her face was pale, and she was fully dressed with her bag all set. Another tidy person, like me!

Thank goodness, I would die if I was stuck in a room with three incredibly messy people.

Half of Lily's trunk is already scattered across the floor.

Marlene stepped over the mess and stood next to the bathroom door.

"Where were you?" I asked, taking in her slightly dishivelled clothing.

She went red. _OH_. First day, too.

"Nowhere. Just took a walk round the lake," She muttered.

"This early?" Lily put in. Marlene nodded. Emma sighed.

"Cool, but can you tell us next time? Katie here nearly had a fit,"

I did not!

Lies, the lot of it!

Marlene smiled and went back over to the door, turning and motioning for us to follow. I did, the others just kind of stood there.

"Well come on then!" I said, "We actually will be late, and Lily will have a fit,"

Lily blushed. Hah. _Payback_.

The two girls jumped up, and we went down the spiraling staircase to the Common room.

My foot skidded on a loose piece of carpet tassel, and I let out a small squeak.

Lily grabbed my arm, and I clumbsily regained my footing. I looked back, and she just smirked at me. Evil git!

That staircase really is a bit of a danger, I almost fell down it! Far to narrow!

Honestly.

...

We walked to HOM, and Lily was having a small panic attack.

I was right! See, I told you! Well, me.

I don't think any of us actually realised how bloody huge Hogwarts is until we actually saw it.

It's bloody massive!

The corridor was completely packed with people, (I think they were 6th year Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws) all milling around some empty classrooms.

Good. Weren't late.

Yet.

Emmaline took charge and made a little pathway through, and we all followed her.

There was a Courtyard ahead, with about six exits.

How the bloody hell were we ment to know which way to go?

They should provide us with maps.

"Err, where now?" Lily asked Emma. The taller girl shrugged, and pointed towards a tall tower behind Marlene.

"Thats Gryffindor tower, and it's in the north, History of Magic's held in the west, so... _that_ way," She pointed to a doorway to my left.

We ran over to it, as a gaggle of Slytherins left. They glared at me.

I glared back.

Marlene was pushed in the lead this time, and she nervously pushed her way through.

Well, she _tried_ to.

She's exteremely short, smaller than both me and Lily.

So of course, the Evil Little Older Slytherins just barged their way through.

I think I bruised my back, it now feels rather sore.

Emma took the lead again (hoorah!) and we made progress forwards, only to find ourself in exactly the same corridor full of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws.

Merlins Arse, it's a maze!

"What the _hell_!" Emma cried.

Oh dear, I have two hormonal room mates. Scary.

Lily looked rather upset, so I patted her shoulder and said, "Watch the expert closely, and learn."

She raised an eyebrow (I really need to learn how to do that, because it looks cool) and looked at me.

Hah, she doesn't believe I know what to do!

Shun the non-believer, Shun her I Say! Shuuuuunnn!

But I know what I need to do!

Really, I'm being serious!

I turned and headed for a small cluster of boys who were laughing at a tall girl who was evidently telling a story.

I poked one in the back.

Not hard, but he turned around in surprise.

"Excuse me, but do you know where I can find History of Magic? because my Friend over there has gotten us completely lost," I asked nicely. Niceness is always good.

But before he could reply...

"Katie!" A voice came from behind me. A girly, irritating voice that I have known all my life.

Merlin's shorts, It's Olivia! _RUN_!

She hurried up to me, and smiled at the big bundle I had interrupted.

"Sorry, Marcus... First year sister, carry on, carry on..."

They all gave her an amused look, but listened. Scary in itself, I know.

"What are you _Doing_?" She moaned, clutching her hear in one hand.

Well, duh, what does it look like?

Being sensible and getting help! Earghhh!

I know, another shock. My life seems to be made up of them.

"I was asking for directions to History, as me and my friends;-" I signalled to the other three, they walked over nervously. "- got lost, so I was being sensible so we wouldn't be late,"

The other three all nodded. It was like a nodding convention.

"Okay, but you mustn't go around harassing other students, especailly ones I know!" she exclaimed.

I don't harass people!

"She ignored my most indignant look and carried on talking.

"- If you need help, ask me or a prefect. I will walk you there, so you don't embarrass yourself any further,"

And with that she took me by the arm (remind me, brain, to disinfectent it later) and dragged me in the opposit diarection Emma took us.

Lily and Marlene looked at each other before following, and Emma just casually walked next to me, like it is perfectly normal to have the head girl escort you around.

Now I was embarrassed.

Thank Goodness I didn't see anyone i know. I would melt.

...

Finally, after ten minutes of walking in silence being led around, we reached a corridor. But this time it wasn't the originaln one. Phew.

"Go down there, turn _LEFT_ and stand next to the first door. Go." said 'Livvy.

How very mature.

And with that, she turned and left.

Huh.

Snobby girl she is too.

As soon as she was out of sight and hearing (I hope she was, anyway) all four of us burst out laughing, and went the way we had been directed.

"Is that your _sister_?" Lily choked.

"Yep. Strange, Isn't she?" I grimaced in return.

This seemed to make Emma laugh more - she started to choke and splutter. I walloped her on the back and she resurfaced, glaring.

More Payback!

"Oh good, I thought she was a random stranger, How wierd would that be!" Lily exclaimed, and she and Marlene almost fell over laughing again.

Emma rubbed her back, still glaring. Grumpy sod.

Once Lily and Marlene had recovered, we went and stood outside the door to the LEFT.

I don't know why 'Liv said it like that, she must think I'm mad.

Bit Rich.

There were already a reasonable amount of Ravenclaws (we have it at the same time) in there, so we walked straight in.

Professor Binns is soooooooo old.

All the desks were in little straight lines, and Lily made a beeline for the front. Emma, Malene and myself made a beeline to the back.

Lily froze halfway, looked round to see where we were, then blushed, and followed. Hahaaa, I'm brilliant!

Infront of us sat Frank, Lance, Dominic, Remus and Sirius. I popped myself down directly behind the latter and imbetween Lily and Marly.

I might call her that, just to be irritating. Its all fun.

James came in with Peter a few minutes later, glared at us at the back and sat at the very front on the only double desk in the room. Huh, we all had a row. Wheyyyy!

Slaggy and Co. came in last, and looked rather annoyed at the few seats left, spaced round the room. Eventually she decided to sit next to a tall Ravenclaw with minion #1, and minion #2 sat near Potter.

Binns started with a register, almost fell asleep halfway through, then started blabbering about some ridiculously early time in history.

I look up.

What a surprise, he still is!

Lance appears to have fallen asleep. His head is mysteriously nodding off near Frank's shoulder. Frank does not appear to be happy.

Only two people are taking notes - Lily (shocker!) and Remus.

James and Peter are passing notes. The Ravenclaws are trying to listen (key word there is 'Trying')

S&Co. are applying makeup. They look like tangerines.

I'm doing something more productive.

Like drawing Lily. And Marlene. And Emma. And Sirius, who has also fallen asleep.

I can hear him snoring.

Haha, Remus just elbowed him! He sounds like a pig trying to wake up now!

I put my head back on the dest and start counting the burns on this table. There are actually loads, it looks like someone attacked it.

A loud snort has (again) interrupted my thoughts.

It's Lance! His head falls forwars onto the table, and continues to sleep.

Frank does _not_ look happy.

Ohhhh, I am so _BORED_.

HELP.

ME.

* * *

><p><strong>AN; <strong>**Hey everyone, bit of a late update, but oh well. Here it is. ****Thanks to the two lovely reviewers,lynemzho and mitsuhiko1998, and adds to favourites! really made my day :D ****The more reviews, the merrier I get!  
><strong>**Also, I was thinking of doing small parts of chapters in someone elses view, I.E Sirius' Sorting, Th eboys Dorms where Remus got annoyed, etcetc.  
><strong>**What do you think?  
><strong>**Review me an answer!  
><strong>**Thanks!**

**~Wolffe41**


	4. Or Even Better, Potions With Sluggy!

**Still in HOM, **

**Half Asleep (Which is, in fact, good.)**

Arghh, Binns is the most boring bloke in the History of Magic (Haha, you get it? Err, no. I thought not. My sarcasm may have been wasted, as it seems to be a gift recognised by few.)

I'm considering bringing some pillows next time – much more comfy than the desk and I'm sure he won't notice or care.  
>Great, now he's waffling on about what we will do in the year, from 1000000 BM (Before Merlin) or whatever. Yay, I look forward to it.<br>Not.

Kill. Me. _NOW_.

Well, earlier would have been nice, but only if I could be resuscitated again for DADA.

I wouldn't want to waste the rest of my life being dead because some (very) old bloke won't shut up.

I really need to find something to do.

For the past half hour, I have been counting people's heads, how many hair colours there are (Lily's the only red) and cleaning out my finger nails.

It's _very_ exciting.  
>If I keep this up, I may die soon. Brilliant. Just what I always wanted to do on my first day.<p>

Then again, Binns does not seem to even realise we are in here. So I could snooze (Like the others), or chuck stuff.

Actually, I could bully Marlene over where she was this morning.

Now _that_ is a good Idea.

Begin the throwing paper notes war!

...

Hey, Marlene?

_What, I'm trying to listen!_

Haha, listen my arse... where were you this morning?

_I've already told you, down by the lake. Bugger off._

Ohh, snappy. Tell me?

_No_.

But that proves my point! You won't tell me! Proof!

What the _HELL_ are you two doing?

Bugger, sorry Lily,

I'm trying to listen!

_Now that I can believe._

Same. Back to my point, Marl, _Where were you_?

Where was she when?

This morning when we lost her! Give it to M!

Ohh, sorry.

_Fine. I'll tell you later._

Tell me now!

Kat, you have really bad aim. Stop chucking it at my head!

Sorry Evans, it's in the way. Shove it.

No!

_Oh for Merlin's sake- _NO_._

Please?

Pretty please?

Yes Lily! You helpful girl!

**Ow!**

Brilliant, now look what you've done. Woken Emma. And you moan at me for my bad aim, Lilykins.

Quiet, Armstrong.

**Are you trying to get Marly to tell you where she went?**

_50 points to the blond._

Don't be mean. It's not nice.

_Well it's a bit bloody obvious, read the note. Duh._

Language, or I'll report you.

_What, to Binns? Harsh, Lily, harsh._

**Where were you then?**

_Oh for Merlin's sake we've already covered this!_

Tell me Marlene!

_NO._

**Temper, temper McKinnon. Control yourself. **

_*Telepathically glares at Vance*_

***Glares back even fiercelyer***

Em, that's not even a word.

Shh, Lily! It's funny!

_OWW! That was my head! Watch it Armstrong, or I will shove this up your nose!_

Violent child.

_Trust me, I get worse._

**Please don't.**

We've gone off the point here! TELL US NOW.

_Fine._

Woo! Go Lily!

I know, I have the magic touch.

**Duh, were at Hogwarts. We're all magical. **

Sarcasm, my dear Emmeline, sarcasm.

**I knew that.**

_Of course. I went to see Matthew._

OH. On the first day too. You slag!

_He's my BROTHER, dimwit._

Oi! That was my head, slut!

Oh. 

_That's what I thought._

**Why? You only saw him yesterday...**

_Because I did. He's a 7__th__ year Gryffindor, and said he would show me around._

Thanks for inviting us.

_Welcome._

**So you went to see your brother?**

_Yes, Em, yes, I did just say that!_

**Ohh, sorry. **

_Ohh, little girly meeting here?_

Bugger off, Black. Well done, Kat. 

Please don't call me that or I _will_ be forced to kill you.

_Now, now ladies, purses away, you seem to have a rather interesting chat... thanks for inviting me in._

_Welcome._

Is that the only thing you can say, Marl?

_Shut it, Armstrong._

_Feisty there, McKinnon?_

_DIE, Black, DIE._

Ignore her, she's hormonal. So is Lily.

No I'm not! Bugger off Katie!

**Can you stop aiming this at my head!**

Sorry, it's releasing my inner anger. It was meant for her. 

Her me, or her Marlene?

_Or her Black?_

_Cheers, McKinnon. _

_Welcome._

**Oh for Merlin's sake, here we go again!**

I know, it's bloody irritating.

'_Language Katie or I'll report you to Binns'_

_At least _someone_ knows how to read notes._

Why are you even here?

_Because someone chucked this parchment at my head._

Sorry Sirius.

**He has a name?**

*Sending you telepathic sarcastic clapping * 50 more points to the blond.

**Now who's being mean!**

_See, she's mad. _

You said it first.

_Hah, I got it again!_

Stop intercepting my throws! I can't throw!

_Take it you're not a chaser then?_

Nah, beater.

**Really? You don't look strong enough. They need big muscles, don't they?**

_Yeah, I thought so._

_Why thank you ladies._

?

_Beater as well. We could be a pair!_

Ohh, bet I'm better than you.

What are you on about?

**Quidditch! It's brilliant! Don't say you've never heard of it Lily!**

Muggleborn, Em, not a witch.

_**Yes you are, it's a fact that all muggleborns are descended somewhere from a squib, and therefore not quite un-magical.**_

_Remus! _

Brilliant Black, get everyone involved, why don't you?

_Sounds like a good plan._

**Please don't. **

So why did you meet up with him?

_Who?_

_I refuse to tell you anymore now, Armstrong._

Bugger you, Lily.

Why me?

**Because you're useless throwing skills got it everywhere, and it's not privet anymore.**

_Actually, Katie got it to HIM._

_That did actually hurt, Armstrong, seriously hurt. And that was harsh, McKinnon, and uncalled for._

Quiet, you.

_**Tell her what?**_

_A mysterious secret._

_Oh, can I know?_

No. 

_That was harsh, Evans. Real harsh._

Is that your catchphrase or something?

_**Don't get him started on 'Siriusly'**_

**What kind of name is Sirius?**

_Something to do with dogs._

Dog star, head of _Canis Major_.

_How the hell did you know that?_

I have a brain.

_Unlike some people._

_How nice of you to volunteer yourself, McKinny._

**Rich.**

Bugger, Binns alert! Binns coming in at twelve o'clock!

_What?_

_**Binns is coming.**_

_Oh. _

You could have just said that.

**Is it actually twelve o'clock yet? I'm pretty hungry.**

_Same. _

It's five minutes to eleven.

Five minutes!

_Bugger him, I'm packing up. Bye Armstrong, come on Remus._

_Thanks Black. _

'_Welcome.'_

**Hah, payback. **

_Shut it, you._

I'm going to pack up. Do you know how much of that lesson I missed! Half an hour! 

Blimey, chill Lily! It's only history!

_**I have notes, you can borrow them.**_

Brilliant, thanks.

_Remus! Stop factorising with the enemy!_

.

_And Armstrong._

Thank you.

_Bye_

_**Bye.**_

_Good bloody riddance._

**Marlene!**

_What!_

**Be nice! **

Potions next, guys.

Bugger that.

_Kill me now._

Oi, that's my catch phrase! Don't copy!

_So sorry, Armstrong._

**Bells gone, hurry up or we won't get decent seats.**

You don't have to talk in a note anymore, you know.

_Hush, Lily._

* * *

><p><strong>Potions,<strong>

**Later.**

Well, if we do that each lesson I may not die.

Hooray!

Mini miracle in itself right there.

Luckily we didn't get lost this time – just followed the crowd. And it's in the dungeons, so if we kept going down, we would have found it anyway.

Eventually.  
>Even with <em>Emma<em> leading the way.  
>She has no sense of direction at all, I mean really, she led us in a circle, tried to make us go UP from the seventh floor this morning (and it's the top floor, too).<p>

So basically:  
>She is a <em>lunatic<em>.

Its bloody cold down here, I'll tell you that.

Lily is shivering; I can feel her brushing against my arm.

That's what you get for not wearing a jumper under your cloak!  
>I did because I (as rightfully pointed out earlier) have a brain.<p>

Although extremely bad karma.  
>Really, really awful karma.<p>

I am stood with my back against a black brick wall, and the entire dungeon is lit by little green flames. Attractive.

Anyway, I am only against this wall because some dear Slytherins are here, due to the minor fact that we share Potions and Defence with them.

Its Potters fault.

They all came in a big bundle of people, dressed in their green. They looked like boulders.

Then James spotted then and glared. "What are _you_ doing down here? Bugger your fat arses off and mess up someone else's day,"

Yea, I didn't understand it either. Maybe he was in a strop.

However, I _do_ agree with the 'fat arses' bit.

They look absobloodylutely massive. It's rather scary, really. I would not like to meet them in a dark corridor. However, I am a Gryffindor (Gryffindor PRIDE!) and would hex the pants off of their meaty back ends right back to Merlin's time, so hahahaaa.

A pair of trolls clicked their knuckles 'menacingly'. It ruined the effect of evilness when a fat _girl_ troll came and stood at the front of the crowd.

"Why don't you make us, pretty boy?" she sneered, then looked at Sirius, "or are you having too much fun with your little traitorous beasts, who haven't got enough backbone to land themselves in the right house,"

Honestly, who comes up with these insults? It's ridiculous.

But, that did it for the dear boys.

The Slytherins had themselves all pressed up against one wall, us Gryffindors against the other in a _huge_ standoff, consisting of shouting, pushing, shoving, scratching and punching.

And _that_ is how I got wedged up here. It's such a lovely, touching tale.

I think the Evil Green Ones' dorms and Common room is down here – you'd expect it to be.

It has a rather evil feel to it. Yuck.

Oww, Lily has elbowed me! In my rib, as well!

"Lily! What was that for?" I ask, very indignantly. (Well, as indignant as you can get whilst being shoved up against a wall by the lads).

She looks rather sorry. Good.

"I didn't mean to, it was _his_ fault!" she points towards a beefy bloke, who had been shoved into us, then away by James and co., then back.

Like a big, fat ball.

...It's quite amusing, actually.

"Oh. Sorry," I reply.

My arms are aching. Really, really throbbing aching, from trying to stop my head from being trapped between Lance and this wall.

Why must this happen on the first day? Surely we could all be happy and in the warmth, because we're only small? Well, I am, but some of this lot aren't. The fat one is almost twice Lily's height.

Thank god they can't hit us.

Unless they are all secretly girls...

Wouldn't put it past the Slytherins to have a few mutations. Most of the pureblood families inbreed (mine haven't, though, I have proof (Phew))

Oh, finally! Into the warmth we go!

Yet another fat bloke has appeared, and has told us off.

Well then.

He looks like an obese walrus. With a blob of silvery blond hair on his head. And some pince-nez glasses thingy.  
>Are all Slytherins like this?<p>

Ohh, my arms! I can feel them!

I carefully peel myself off of the wall, and wobble through a huge, huge door to another room.

It's not too cold in here, actually.

Probably because it's a POTIONS ROOM and there are FIRES for the cauldrons.

Simple logic for simple people. And myself, of course.

...

Lily is a betrayer!

The tables are all split into groups of four, and she left me!

But then again, so did the others, so I can't complain.

Brilliant.

We went in (duh, I think I already covered this) and immediately Lily latched herself onto the greasy haired one, who had a pair of trolls with him.

Really, big beefy things with fuzzy heads and big meaty arms. They smelt funny, too.

Earghh. Not attractive.

They all got a table together (the trolls didn't seem to like Lily – they sat at the opposite end and ignored her).

"Lily!" I moaned at her.

She looked up from her chat with oh-mighty-grease-ball, and just looked at me.

No, not all Slytherins are huge. The Snape guy looks like a small, stringy, sallow stick of celery. With a greasy thing on its head.

"Yes, Katie?" she asked, playing it all innocent. Huh.

It doesn't work, I have siblings. They put it on all too often.  
>I am immune!<p>

"Cheers for leaving me alone, really appreciate it," I said sarcastically.

"Oh good, you're not mad, then?" she reply.

Good grief, she's blond. For a redhead, anyway.

I rolled my eyes, and reply back "Eh, I'll live. If I'm not _betrayed_ again!"

"Sorry," she answers, before turning back round to finish her little chat.

Well then.

Bugger, the room is filling up fast!

Marlene, Emma, Mary and a Slytherin boy are sat at a table.

I raise my eyebrows at them (I really need to learn to do one; two doesn't _quite_ look the same).

They looked sympathetically at me, and then scowled at the lad.

Evidently they didn't want him there. At least they're loyal enough to try.

Oh, the table behind them is free! As In empty, free!

I walked (marched really) over and sat down on the bench nearest them.

"Thanks for saving me a seat, Em," I hiss under my breath.

The Professor has come back in; I'm not being grumpy and hissing. I am not a snake.

"It's not my fault- he just sat there and moved my stuff that was trying to guard it for you!" she answers, and then looks up.

My table isn't my table anymore.

Well, at least I'm not a Larry.

Sirius and Remus have just sat opposite me. Hurrah.

Could be worse, I suppose, could be slaggy. She sat with her minion over on the other side, nearest the fire.

Such wimps.

"Alright Armstrong?" Sirius asks.

Remus half smiled at me, then pulled out a book and a cauldron.

I did too. Always good to be prepared.

"Alright Black," I reply, nodding at the pair.

The walrus at the front started waving his arms around like a pigeon.

"Settle, students, Settle," he calls.

Makes us sound like _we_ are pigeons.

The class fell silent, and he beamed around at us.

Crikey, he has a scary smile.

"Okay then. I am Professor Slughorn, and where you are sat now, you will sit for the rest of the term unless I move you."

Noo! As if!

Emma _doesn't_ look amused. _Good_.

"- You are all here to study the fine art of potions making – and will study it for the next seven years.

"If you would kindly take out you books, scales and cauldrons-"

A big flurry goes around the room. He smiles at our table.  
>Like I said, be prepared!<p>

"- and we will start to look at the basics of ingredients and preparation, then start a simple potion – the Boil Clearing Solution - at the start of next week. Now then, who can tell me..."

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. He babbled on for a good half an hour, asking random questions to do with simple potion, and showed us a few ingredients and how to use the scales.  
>Do we really have to know how to use <em>scales<em>?  
>Do we seriously look that dumb?<br>Lily is paying full attention though, and watching intently.

"You boy!" Slughorn suddenly yells.

We all look round trying to figure out who he means.  
>Ah, the two trolls are holding their hands suspiciously over their mouths.<p>

_Obviously_ not talking.

"I will not stand for people passing notes, talking or nay type of ridiculous behaviour in this room, or I will take points. Yes, off my own house, too." He rumbled.

Yes, _rumbled_. He sounds like a walrus.  
>Lily put up her hand.<p>

Slughorn turns around and beams at her. Mood swings!  
>Dear Merlin, I'm stuck with hormonal friends, moody teachers and on my <em>Larry<em> (girl-wise) in potions.

The other two are watching intently. Scary.

Remus is, anyway. Sirius is watching Prof.'s moustache.  
>It's quivering rather amusingly with every word he speaks.<p>

Lily asked a question (I'm not sure what, I wasn't listening) and Slughorn laughs.

"Well my dear, it's funny you should ask that, because..." and he raves off again.

Fun.

He really has the most irritating voice ever.  
>It interrupted me.<p>

Earghh.

"Miss Armstrong?"

Holy cow he knows my name!

"Do you know what we must add to dried nettles and Snake fangs in this particular draught?" he asks.

Err, what?

He points to a diagram of a boil, watching me hopefully.

Oooh! Slugs!

"Horned slugs, isn't it Professor?" I reply.

He beams at me now. Oh dear, I will see that huge red face in my nightmares. It looks like a mutated quaffle.

"Right you are! Horned Slugs are extremely important in this potion, as without it we would have a solution so strong it could burn through your skin. Five points to Gryffindor!"

Ohh, I feel all tingly inside. Lily shot an approving grin at me, and I smirk.  
>Haha. The boy next to her scowled grumpily.<p>

I looked back round at my table.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at me.

"Horned slugs?" he mouthed.

I have the best way ever of remembering that potion. Jake needed it once.

I grin at him and nodded.

"Horned slugs- Slughorn? If you forget the slugs, your face goes all shiny and red like his." I muttered back.

It's true! Dad even told me that, and he's him!

Sirius burst out laughing, and even Remus chuckles a bit. Ah good, he looks quite pale, sometimes.  
>Hmm.<p>

Sluggy broke off and looked at us.

"Aha, Mister Black, isn't it? I was surprised I didn't get you in my house, but oh well. I expect your brother when he comes up."

He smiled pleasantly (as pleasant as a walrus goes- which isn't very) and continued talking.

Sirius froze (again, he appears to be rather good at that) and his face fell in to a scowl, with an attractive shade of grey. Several Slytherins snigger. Potter looks quiet amused.

He flinched round, and Remus grabbed his shoulder.

I turn glare at the Slytherins.  
>They shut up.<p>

Remus whispers something in Sirius' ear, and the boy turns himself around, his back straight and eyes all narrowed. Remus says something else, and he relaxed slightly more. He muttered back, and then started to stare down at the table.

Remus rolls his eyes at me. I roll mine back.

I do believe we have reached an understanding – Sirius + Slytherins + mentioning Family = _Bad_.

Oh dear. Poor Sirius. Stupid Sluggy. Good for Remus. Stupid Slytherins. And Potter, to, he seems far too happy about Sirius' let down. Git.

I really cannot be bothered with all this hassle, it's ridiculous.

Eventually we were finished – the bell rang out in the middle of Slughorns speech and he broke off, set us some homework and then went to see us out of the door.

I seriously doubt we are that incapable to walk through a door, but ho hum.

Sirius jumped up straight away and left with Remus, stalking silently out of the door.

Moody.

I waited for The Girls to get sorted – notice the capitalised 'T' - (by the time they were finished, the dungeon was empty and Sluggy looked rather impatient) and then we turned and headed for lunch.

Ah, lunch. Love it.

Lily decided to rejoin us, and fell into step besides me.

"That was alright, wasn't it? History was worse," she said.

I looked at her.

"It could have been better, but you _left me_."

"I'm sorry! Severus insisted because we haven't had chance to see each other yet!"

It's the first day. I'm pretty sure he will survive not speaking to Lily for a night and a few hours. Honestly.

A podgy hand took my shoulder as we went to go through the door.

Errgh, _Slug_.

"Miss Armstrong, if I'm correct?" he asked, "Paul Armstrong of the Department of Mysteries daughter?"

No, his son. What does it _look_ like?

And how come they all know me? It's scary!

I stopped patiently and smiled (I hope it was a smile, not a grimace, anyway,) and replied,

"Yes, Olivia's sister. Dad says he recommends you as one of the top potioneers of our time,"

Lay it on thick; he may let me move seats!

Slughorn chuckled and clapped my back. Rather hard, too.

"Yes, yes, of course! Always was one of my top students... recognised you the moment you stepped in... who do we have here?" he broke off, looking at Lily.

Lily blushed, then looked around to see who else there was in here.

Just the three of us. The others hadn't bothered waiting.  
>Hurrah.<p>

"Lily – Lily Evans," She replied rather nervously. I don't blame her.  
>He's rather intimidating.<p>

Slughorn nodded then asked if she had any wizarding relatives.

"No, I'm a muggleborn. I didn't know I was magical until a few months ago," She replied.

Slughorn looked a bit disappointed.

"Ah well, plenty of hope for you, my dear, plenty of hope. Run along, now to lunch,"

We did.  
>Very fast, too.<br>Like I said (many times) he is a rather scary bloke. Dad didn't really say he was nice, either.

He told me the hint with slugs. That is how much he 'respects' old Slughorn. Really old Slughorn.

Anyway, moving on, I and Lily went to lunch – the girls saved us seats and food, bless them – and tried to forget about the fat walrus.

The table was laid with lots of sandwiches, and fruit, and chips and pies and generally smaller portions of the things we had for the feast last night. No pasta, though. I fear it may be an evening-only type treat, and be forced to go into a mini withdrawal through the day. That would be scary.

Very, very scary.

* * *

><p><strong>Great hall, finishing lunch. <strong>

**Waiting to go to **

The girls are really slow eaters.

They must have got here, what – 10 minutes before me and Lily? But, I'm finished (and so is Lily) and _they are not._

They are _ridiculously_ slow.

"Liillyyy can you come to the Tower with meeeee? _Please_?" I beg, and lean forward slightly to pull on her arm.

She gave me an annoyed look, and shook me off. "No, go on your own, I'm staying with these guy. See you later?"

"Really? You can read in the common room, it's much warmer up there," I shoot back.

She snorted. "But there is the smell of _food_, Katie, it helps me _concentrate_."

No, food makes you want to eat, not think.  
>Fish is 'brain food'. And I can currently see no fish.<br>Or pasta. Sigh.

Marlene glanced up at me.

"Don't worry, I'll be done in a minute. I need the loo."

Good to know, made my day. Lovely.

So she finally finishes up, and I nod to the other four, just sitting there like cows chewing grass for ages and ages, with the occasional page turn over by Lily.

Marlene gets up, slowly, then we start up the hall to the girls loos near (I hope, anyway) Defence, with that new guy. I can't seem to remember his name.

How very convenient.

Marly began to waffle on about how much she enjoys being able to use a wand. We haven't used them at all yet, so I'm not quite sure how she knows this. Unless, of course, she is a mad homicidal being trying to escape the body of an eleven year old girl and murder us all.

I zoned out. Again.

"Marlene, how do you know this?" I ask, breaking off her little chant.

She looked a bit smug. "Matt taught me a little on the train, you know – for defence against the Slytherins."

"So you knew you were going to be a Gryffindor then?"

"Duh, my _entire_ _family_ (apart from granddad, he's a squib, and a few cousins in Ravenclaw) were in Gryffindor! So it was pretty obvious. The hat goes 'oh look! McKinnon! Gryffindor to you again!'"

Well, at least the hat likes some people.

"Lucky, the hat and I had a rather interesting talk about whether I should be a experiment. To Hufflepuff."

She burst out laughing, and hit my shoulder. I felt quite offended.

She calmed herself down to normal sanity, and was off again. "But aren't you a pureblood? Surely it wouldn't use you for an experiment?"

"Yes I am, but _Mum_ was an experiment to Hufflepuff as well, _Olivia_ is a Ravenclaw, _Dad_ was a Gryffindor and so am I. The hat seems to enjoy chucking us everywhere. Look at Sirius." I replied wryly.

She pulled the I-get-you-it-_kind_-of-in-a-way-and-it-does-make-sense face (you know, where they stretch their jaw and close their eyes and look like a constipated loony? Yeah, that one) and nodded.

"Oh"

"Yeah."

"What about everyone else?" she asked, a few minutes after walking in silence.

"Everyone else what?" I shot back. Her mind confuses me – I am NOT psychic. I think that's how you spell it anyway. (Hope, really)

"You know – blood statuses? I know Potter, you, Longbottem and Black are pureblood, what about the others?" she explained.

"Why, got something against them?" I pointedly said back. She look taken back.

"No, just wondering! I like normal people too, not just purity!"

"Oh." It explained a lot. Remembering I don't have much of a direct path from brain to mouth, so it gets a bit confused. Quite often, actually.

Marlene looked at me expectantly. I sighed and explained.

"Lily's muggleborn, Pettigrew's parents are both muggleborns, I think Remus is a True Half blood, and Lance and Dominic's dads are purebloods. Dunno about the others."

She raised another eyebrow at me. "How do you know that?"

Oh dear.

"_Obviously_ I eavesdropped in their conversations at the feast. We weren't covering that topic at all, you know." Oh, sarcasm. It's a true gift granted to few.

"Yes, obviously." She smirked back.

Nope, she didn't understand a word of what I meant. Poor girl.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey all :) <strong>

**Sorry about the reasonably long time taken to update - I've been ill. I fear I have a weakened immune system, because it keeps happening. Doctors say I'm fine, so no worries. **

**Anyway, thanks to the people that have added this to their favourites and alerts! It made me really happy.**  
><strong>Review? Please, it makes me feel happier, and I would appreciate discoveringhaving feedback on improving, and just general stuff.**

**I have motto's, classes, spells, next 10 years planned for this :L I know, it wont be finished anytime soon at this rate. Heh, a girl can dream.**

**Posts will become a bit irregular too, so sorry in advance - Im starting my options choosing and studying at school. Fun.**

**~Wolffe41 **


	5. Then She Dragged Me To The Library

**The Room, Waiting for Marlene.**

Can this girl get any slower?

I've only been up here for 10 minutes, whilst she gets her stuff for DADA.  
>I, however, am a <em>very<em> organised person, and got it all sorted this morning -taking extra long, because Lily pinched _Dark Mythical Magic for Beginners_, to read whilst the others were showering, and didn't seem to realise that I was panicking at the thought that I had lost It. That book is blooming expensive.

"Katie!" Marlene yells, in my ear, very loudly.

Ow.

"What!" I cry back. She winces, and I smirk at her.

"I can't find my cloak!" she whimpers, and starts to dig through her trunk, again. Oh dear.

She was wearing it not 5 minutes ago, but there you are.

"Where did you put it?" I reason, trying to remain a bit sane.

Marlene gripped her hair and rampaged round again. "That's the problem! I don't know!"

Oh dear Merlin on a Hippogriff, this girl is mad.

"Marlene, you've just _destroyed_ the room, and chucked your stuff everywhere, so it's probably on someone else-" I started, only to be cut off by the crazy child who just ran across the room, bombed only Lily's bed (it made a scary creaking noise) and cried, "I've got it! Lily stole it!"

I put my face in my hand. No comment on the madness needed.

Marlene slipped the recovered cloak on, then bounded to the door, and looked at me.

"Come on then, we'll be late!"

I nodded, and grabbed my bag, and she was _gone_.

Whoosh. Just like that. She _vanished_.

How that girl can move so fast on a full stomach, I don't know.

* * *

><p><strong>Defence Against Dark Arts.<strong>

Well, we didn't have a brawl outside the classroom. I think it's because we're with the Hufflepuff's. And they're far too nice to start a fight. Really.

So we stood in two long lines (there appeared to be two more Gryffindor girls and another boy, I didn't notice them before, but Lily says they were always here. Oh well.) opposite the 'Puffs, and waited.

It was actually really quiet, not many people were talking (duh) and then the bloke to teach us came out.

He's really, really young. As in, probably only 5 years out of Hogwarts young.

I think Emma thinks he's fit. She had that expression, the same one Olivia gets when she looks at her fiancé/boyfriend David. All moony and lovey. It's rather disturbing.

So he came bumbling out, with tight fitting robes and a _huge_ grin and waved at us.

Yes, waved.  
>Oh dear.<br>"Right, class, get into your two separate house lines, then come in and take a place anywhere, but no more than two to a desk," he called. We were already in lines, but oh well.

The classroom was dark. All the shutters on the windows were closed, and there were no candles or anything.

Just darkness. Light enough to see the outlines of desks to sit on, but it was dark.

Some of the little (as in short) Hufflepuff's made a strange yelping sound as they came in.

Merlin's pants, they were _scared_ of the _dark_.  
>Us Gryffindors (brave and awesome) came in, looked around, and sat down. Just like that. No Fear.<p>

That's quite a good motto, actually.  
>My family have tonnes of mottos, from Italian ones (Nan's) to all the Latin ancient ones (Dad's) and it's very confusing.<br>I learnt them all of by heart, so when Nan does accuse me of not knowing family history (she does that a lot – literally, every time we go and visit her) so I can recite them perfectly. Shuts her up, too.

Anyway, I sat with Lily in the middle of the middle, with Mary and Marlene on one side, and Emma with another Gryffindor girl, possibly one of slag's friends, on the other.

And we did all of that in _silence_.

The professor bounded to the front – his feet were making funny squeaks – and stood in front of a huge projector thing with a candle.  
>His face was all wobbly.<p>

From the flame, duh.

"My name is Professor Casius, and I have agreed to take this position up for a year, before returning to the Aurors. We will cover simple defensive charms and mild hexes, and then next year you should be moving onto looking at more dangerous spells and jinxes. Are you with me?"

We all nodded.

We got out our books and he showed us a defensive few wand movements and explained how it affects our spell work. He was slashing at the air. The front row all flinched back.  
>I don't blame them; one of the boys almost got a wand in his eye. Ouch.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>No Longer In DADA, Free Period<strong>

Yes!

Free period! But astronomy at 12 o'clock at _night_.

We have to go, in the freezing, freezing cold up to a tower, looking at stars.

Apparently it's really interesting though. I hope so, Defence wasn't so bad. HOM is worse.

Sirius was all in a mad buzz as we came out from the classroom, poor Remus had to try to stop him running into some fifth years.

It didn't work. They gave him stroppy glares, and carried on walking.

"Sirius, calm down. It's only astronomy, no need to get worked up," Remus said.

Sirius gave him a funny look. He looked like some type of mad animal thing.

"I know, but it's brilliant! We get telescopes and get to look at stars and the moon and galaxies and space!"

Us three girls, those two and James Potter with Peter Pettigrew were the only ones in the corridor.

Sirius went silent after a minute, and we just stood there.

You could have walloped the awkwardness with a bludger and kill someone with it.

It was quite painful, to be honest.

Lily rolled her eyes as she dragged me in the opposite direction, away from the mad creature. I grabbed Emma, and she came with us, yelling and moaning the entire way.

"What was that for?" she screeched when we stopped in a corridor. Honestly, that girl needs to calm down. This morning it was her dragging us everywhere, getting lost and irritating Olivia (that's a good thing).

Lily still looked grumpy. I don't think all defence-y stuff works with her.

"I need to get this homework done, or they'll be no time later, and we have to get up at some ridiculous hour in the morning for Astronomy." She glared.

Finally, someone _agrees_ with me! We should use lunascopes or something so we don't freeze our poor little bums off.

"Aww, but Lily! Emma wanted to talk to professor Casius, she thinks he's fit!" I Grinned, and skipped around the blond.

"What!"

She glared at me, albeit a little sheepishly. Lily noticed.

"Emma, he's over ten years older than you! That's gross!"

"I don't like the bloke, Lil. He's just pretty fit."

Lily snorted and rolled her eyes.

"I'm pretty sure that means you like them, 'Em'."

"Shush, you. This is all your fault, Armstrong."

Oi! It's not me! Honestly, blame it on the (occasionally) 'innocent one'. I gave her the wide eyed, startled look.

"Oi! It's not my fault you like him! Really, you lot are getting settled down a bit quick, aren't you?" I shot back.

Haha. *Cough*Marlene*Cough*

She was getting all cosy with her 'brother', now Emma's at it too!

Lily smirked, and Emma blabbed her mouth around a bit like a goldfish. I hope she has a brain, and a memory. Otherwise we are all screwed.

Screwed, I tell you, Screwed!

She might give me and Lily madness infections.

Oh yay. Insanely-ness all around.

Lily grabbed her bag off the floor, then we were off again, being dragged down some hallway.

A mangy cat thing meowed at me.  
>sounded like some dying banshee.<p>

My thoughts seem to be very death related at the moment.

Hmm. Strange.

Anyway, dear Lily kept dragging us through hallways until I finally asked; "Errm, Where are we going?" in a very daring way.

Lily is not one to irritate, as I have already figured out.

I dared to ask again (she ignored my first try), after a few minutes of scuffled dragging.

Oww. That girl has pointy long finger for an eleven year old. I may be gaining some bruises. Hurrah, hurrah.

"Study. Homework. Library." Was all I got in reply.

Well then.

How very, very fun indeed.

* * *

><p><strong>Library, free period<strong>

Eargh. Lily's friend Snape's in here, sitting at a table with the trollish people, and a few older ones.

Including Lucius Malfoy.

Dad is _very best friends_ with his dad, Abraxas Malfoy.

_Har Har_, NOT.

They hate each other's guts out; it's so very, very funny.

The evil bloke tried to get Dad fired from his office – it failed. Dad only got put as the department head. Abraxas got fined.

Lily waves to 'Sev', and Emma and I have just sat down at a table near the back, away from the Slytherins.  
>Ohh. Lucius has done the devil glare at me! So harsh. So has his girlfriend. She looks like an inferi.<p>

Am I supposed to be intimidated?

How pleasant.

Snape half smiles at Lily, then turned away, talking to _them_.

Lily settles herself down with a contented sigh, and put her bag on the desk, and starts to rummage around searching. Everyone seems to be doing that at the moment.

"Are you to going to make a start on the homework to, or save it for later?" she asks, pulling out a long strip of parchment, quill and ink.

"Maybe, saves me doing it later," I reply. Emma nods in agreement.

So in other words, I won't. It's only a few inches long, on _Protego_ – the shield charm and how it's effective.

Emma's just pulled out the same as Lily, glanced sneakily over at what she's done, and started writing.

How quiet is it in here? Very. The Slytherins have gone, so there's us, a few older Ravenclaw's (but not Olivia, phew,) and some Hufflepuff's. All in a huge spread out blob. Everywhere.

But seriously, this library is huge! None of them are even near our table, and the book shelves are really tall (I want to climb them) and between each one is an alcove. Then it spreads out even more round the sides, and I might get lost one day.

Emma probably will, anyway.

Ooh, my pages have quivered. Lily has sighed and is itching her head with her quill.

"What's wrong, Lily?" I ask quietly. Emma looks up at the redhead.

"I can't write with this – I've never used quills before, only pens and pencils," she puts her parchment up and shows us.

_Brilliant_! Her handwriting looks like chicken scratch! Both of us start to laugh, and Lily gives us a look.

Bum, that's the look that says 'I'm-really-not-very-happy-with-you,-you-will-pay'.

Olivia pulls it at me and Jakey a lot.

Emma has shut up to, I think she gets the message.

Nobody would like to be killed by a new friend on the first day at a magical school. Not good at all.

"Can I have a closer look at it please?" Emma asks. Lily passes the parchment over, and starts digging in her bag again.

Emma smirks at me, and reads through what Lily's put.

HAH! That's brilliant!

"Katie, copy it, quickly!" she mutters to me.

She's not as dim as she looks!

Her hands moving bloody fast over that parchment, evidently she knows how to use a quill, therefore having at least one wizard relation.

Observation skills are coming into play here!

Emma's put the parchment back, Lily's still digging through her stuff, and I'm sitting here, writing.

Hang on a moment, Lily's growling. Good grief. I glance quickly at Emma; she looks as taken back as I feel. Very.

"Bugger!"

"_Lily_!" Emma exclaims, looking very, very shocked.

She just _swore_! My reasonably normal little Lilykins just swore!

"I've lost my book! I need it to check if this is correct or not!" she moans, still rooting around.

Emma groans, haha, the work could be useless! And she just pretty much copied it!

Lily looks up at me and does a puppy eye face.

Her eyes are ridiculously big. And pleading.

Ohh, it's too adorable!

I sigh. "What do you want me to do?"

She brightens up immediately.

"Could you look for '_Defence – Back to the Basic's'_ by Horatio Williamsons for me please? I've left mine in the dormitory, and probably can't reach the shelf,"

She glares up at said shelf as if blaming it for being too tall.

Finally! Something to do!

"Okay!" I agree merrily, "Come on Emma!"

Emma slouched up, huffing a bit in a moody way. Honestly, she could just stay here with Lily and homework, or go on an adventure! With me!

Lily waved us off, and I immediately turned to Emma.

She had her mouth open and looked a bit cross.

"_Why_, must we be in _here_, doing _homework_, on the _first day_?" she stormed.

Holy Merlin, not good.

"Well, we could sneak away in a bit, after delivering the book, I suppose. Lily wants to see the Snape guy," I tell her.

"Hmmm..." came my answer. Friendly.

"come on Emma, at least have some enthusiasm," I say.

Emma nodded, and then wandered over to the DADA section, looking for whatever Lily wanted.

I honestly could not remember.

* * *

><p>Hello All :)<p>

Yes, I am a lazy updater. HOPEFULLY it may become a little more regular, Its been completely hectic lately :L  
>Thank you for the reviews, favourites and alert adds - honestly makes me happy as a loony. I'm sorry its short.<p>

'K' (anon.), what do you mean 'A nice snarky one'? is that an insult to other writers, an insult to MY other chapters, or good? acctually feedback is appreciated, but thanks for the review, anyhow.

Has anyone got _**Pottermore?**_

I do! and Im a _**Gryffindor!**_

Add '**DustQueen27048**', tell me my name (Wolffe41, so I know where you came from), Im open to all houses!  
>Hahaa,<p>

~Wolffe41


	6. Carl the Great Lake Squid

**Great hall, dinner/tea/food time (yay).**

It took us over half an hour to find that book.

Not. Amused. At all.

Emma was being all sullen and everything, just looking, occasionally reaching up and grabbing something, then groaning and putting it back again.

That is _exactly_ how I felt. A huge, moan-y groan.

I wandered down the defence section (It was dark and dusty. Quite scary, to be honest,) and tried to find a lamp. It was ridiculous – a vampire could have leapt out or anything! The silence did not help one bit.

Emma didn't even come after me.

"Hey, Em, do you think it's down there?" I asked her, pointing towards the isle of books. The roof high (which is cathedral high) bookshelves were not nice to look at. But after all, if I found it we could go.

We would be free from the library!

Emma snorted at me and raised an eyebrow.

"No. I am not, anytime soon, going down there. Ever."

"Oh come _on_, if it's down there we can go and eat,"

"No." she fake scowled at me, then turned back to browsing for Lily's Defence Against the Dark Arts book.  
>In the <em>Herbology<em> _section_.

Merlin knows what goes on in that girls' head.

So I had to go, all alone-y on my own-y down a big, dark, silent row of books.

And there wasn't a _lamp_. You know; the things you use to _see_. But nope, no lamp. I had to rummage around in the dark looking for a book.

It smelt really funny in there, too.

Thinking about it, _I_ still smell funny from going in there.

"Err, Katie, _what_ are you _doing_?" Oh dear, Lily has seen me smell myself.

I give her a funny look. The funny I'm-smelling-myself-because-I-smell-funny, and-that-is-not-good look.

"That library stinks. So do I." I reply casually.

She just gave me a funny look now. It's like a contest.

Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I was looking for the book (do I really need to keep saying this? It's getting a bit boring,) and I saw a light!

A beautiful, beautiful light! Coming from the end of the huge book row!

I speed-walked down there - library lady would have killed me if I ran, she's evil, - and came up behind the person.

He was a first year (phew) and a Hufflepuff (phew), so I tapped his shoulder, and he span around. Really quickly.

What is with everyone moving so fast? Or am I in slow motion?

He smiled at me.

If Emma swoons for Casius, she would for him. Seriously. He was all swishy golden hair and mysterious blue eyes, looking at me.

"Hello? Are you in first year?" he asked.

No, I'm just a really small seventh year. Duh.

"Yeah, in Gryffindor. Could I borrow your lamp for a minute so I can find a book, please?" I replied. Manners are good, and they worked because he grinned and held it out.

"So what are you looking for? Could I help you find it?" he says, and followed me down the aisle.

Well, if help is offered, it is received. So I said yes.

He asked 'what am I looking for' in a brave, manly Hufflepuffish way.

I told him about the wimpy Emma and moody Lily (if you ever read this, by the way dear Lilykins, I love you really,) and he snorted. Not very attractively, I must say. Ruined it a little.

"Ah, I saw Williamsons section down here earlier... yes! Got it!" he cried, reaching up (he has long arms) and grabbing a hugely massively wide book covered in dust and blew it off.

I sneezed.

He laughed and apologised. What a nice Hufflepuff.

"Brilliant, thanks _very_ much, I can go and eat now,"

Aren't I just the most flattering person ever?  
>Yes, I thought so, too.<p>

I turned to go with a grin and a wave, and then the Hufflepuff called after me.

"By the way, what's your name?"

"Katie Armstrong, at your service. Sort of."

He gave me a funny look.

"Amos Diggory, resident Hufflepuff. See you around?"

"At some point, probably. Thanks!"

And with that, I turned and did my little speedy walk-run thing back to Lily.

"Lily! I have your book!" I called to her happily, waving the book wildly in the air.

Emma was back at the table, sitting like a lump and looking round at everyone. It had gotten rather busy in the small time I had met Diggory.

Lily looked up gratefully and took the book off of me (which was a good idea because it kept going rather near Emma's head).

"Ooh, thanks! We can go now, I'll finish this later. To the hall?"

"Best thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

Emma looked happy and followed me as we ran out. Lily walked like a more sensible person, and didn't get funny looks or the –

"GET _OUT_ OF MY LIBRARY!" from evil library lady.

But oh well. Now we have food!

I'm next to Marlene, who is next to slaggo's minion no. 2 (their talking together, I am being ignored a bit (I think she's the nicer of the two, she's smiling in a proper, real way)), and Mary.

Lily and Emma betrayed me and sat on the other side. Huh.

On the up side of life, I have pasta! And cranberries! But not together, because that would be weird.

Lily still seems a bit concerned about the amount I eat, because she is watching with the mad 'what-on-_earth_-are-you-_doing_-and_-how-can-you-consume-so-much-food?-_I'm-worried-and-scared-about-you' face, and nibbling a piece of lettuce.

Like a rabbit.

Emma has chips and steak, healthy child. Earghh, steak. It's _gross_.

"Hey, Emma, I found a person you might like today! Another one, anyway," I say to her.

Did she hear? She hasn't looked up for a while... just kind of sitting there, inhaling the food. Like a whale, but without the blubber.

And the blow-hole.  
>Oh Merlin, that sounds <em>so<em> wrong!

Wait, hang on! I have received an answer!

"Did you now. How _terribly_ exciting. I feel so enthralled."

Well then.

Lily smirked.

"When was this? Or do you mean the Professor? Because she was doing gooey eyes at him when we came in,"

SMACK.

Ooh, poor Lily.

"_Emma_! That was my head! Honestly, you're so violent!"

"Don't talk. Eating," she replies.

Well, 'grunts' is a better word, but hey ho. Its like being back at home.

Me and Lily exchange A Look.

I might tell her, she won't hit me... I hope.

Because Em nearly sent Lily's chicken and lettuce stuff flying, and I do not particularly want to get the pasta back from the third years. Cocky little show offs are making it float around.

It could get contaminated. Yuck.  
>Why would you waste such lovely, succulent pasta like that? Why?<p>

I feel a bit stressy now - its a crime! Hommm, inner peace. _Calmness_. Tell the story.

"Well, I was going on a daring raid in the library, looking for your book. And then, I realised it was down a dark row, a scarily, tall, smelly dark row-"

"Is that why you smelt yourself?" Lily interrupts.

Honestly.

"Yes, dear Lily, but that is not the point! I went in alone – Emma was too wimpy – and looked for a light. There were no lamps, so I had to bravely venture out alone, in the dark, through the dark, dark, smelly row, when I saw a person!"

"Armstrong, if you're going to tell a story, please hurry up."

"Shh, Emma! You said you weren't listening. So I went up to him, and poked his back. He span around, and duelled me violently, nearly took my ear off..."

"Sure."

"It did. Seriously,"

"Carry on!"

Impatient little children.

Good grief, I'm getting the devil glares!

"Erm, of course, I asked to borrow his lamp, he said yes, got me your book, then we departed, leaving me to wander back alone, in the dark."

"What a touching story. Where do I come into this?" says Emma, eyebrows in her hairline. Which is pulled back very high. Her forehead has gone all wrinkly. Lovely.

"You would have thought he's hot," I reply smugly.

Lily snorts.

"What house is he in?"

Oh, Emma all interested now. Huh.

"Hufflepuff. He's called Amos Diggory, his dad works in the ministry. You know, the blonde-brown haired one that sat near the front in defence? That one."

"Ooh. He's hot." She states simply, and returns to eating.

Hahaaa, That girl is _brilliant_! So simple minded, that a few words has reduced me and Lily to tears. Merlin's bum, my sides hurt.

We've sort of stopped laughing (Lily gives the occasional snort-hiccup that sets us off again) and Emma is giving me an evil glare.

Seriously, what is with all the glaring?

Marlene's looking round at us as if we are complete loonies ("But we _are_!" whines Lily- I don't think she heard the question. That or she's high off of the pumpkin juice, which is quite a strong possibility, the stuffs addicting) and the girl next to her looks confused.

Thinking about it, quite a lot of people sitting round us are looking worried. I don't blame them. Lily's snorting like a pig, Emma's glaring, and I'm writing this.

Ahh well, life's still good on a full stomach.

* * *

><p><strong>Common Room, Doing DADA Essay (if you could call it an essay, it's more like a few facts in a paragraph, but there you go)<strong>

Lily has The Great Huge Book out of her bag – it must have killed her having to carry it round to up here.

Emma collapses into a huge armchair and sighs. I don't blame her; I'm completely shattered.

I really should start to write this thing, but I honestly cannot be bothered.

We're in the little window seat, looking over the lake. It's very big. Well, small from up here, but there are merpeople and the Giant Squid that tried to pull a boat into the water in there, so it's pretty deep. I think. Unless it's just one huge puddle with a transporter from the sea, so the things/creatures can come and go.

Hmm, that might be a good thing to test. Or I could get one of the lads to do it for me – that little squeaky voiced person is annoying. Yes, she can go and visit the squid. That's a good idea, if I do say so myself (which I do, evidently, as it's not some mad time lord writing this in my place, it's me. Duh.)

How cool would it be if I could get someone to do that! Maybe I could get Emma to persuade Amos once she's seduced him - which is her obvious plan eventually, I can tell - and he can test it out with the 'Puffs. Always willing to be tester, bless their little yellow... socks.

"Katie?" a voice interrupts my thoughts. "Why are you smiling? It's rather scary."

It's Mary! I haven't seen her all day. Apart from when we got out time tables, and at lunch, and in DADA, erm, hang on, scratch the last bit, I obviously _HAVE_ seen her.

It's probably just the shock. And the forgetfulness that comes with bad karma on my family. I hope. Insanity is _not_ good at this age.

"Well, Mary, I'm trying to figure out who to send to find out if the Black Lake (no, not Sirius' lake, Potter) has a teleport in it. Would you like to help?"

There are the only people in here all watching me. But its okay, I'm not going to die, because it's only us first years. The older peoples are eating. Still.

The Peter person is looking at James with a mad look of hope on his face.

"_Wow_! Could we find this out, James? It would be fun!"

Good Godrics' beard, that was easy.

Frank seems to be exploding, and has turned a most interesting shade of maroon. I think he understands my plan. Excellent.

Oh arse, he's chocking! Please tell me I am not a disaster zone, that's happened twice now! Not the chocking bit, but things being my fault.

See, karma does not like me. It wants to kill my friends.

Dom and Lance are smacking him on the back, and eventually he stops. Phew. I get three identical smirks come my way, then they go up to the dorms muttering and doing those manly giggles. Chuckling, that's the one. Not manly giggles, because that is still not very manly.

James has agreed, and they are now setting up plans to visit squidy.

I might call him/her Carl. Just so I don't feel mean.

Squids have feeling too, don't they?

Hmm.

Oh for _goodness_ _sake_, I _really_ must start this essay.

Even Emma has, and that's a mini miracle in itself. Huh.

Sigh. Astronomy later.

To work I go. Then bed. Then tell the girls about Carl.  
>I'm sure they will appreciate the tale.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>In the Room, snoozing before Astronomy.<strong>

I'm so tired. So very, very tired.

It's honestly ridiculous.

I did finish that essay thing. Eventually. With the help – not offered, I stole it – of Lily's essay. Emma and Marlene did the same, so it's not cheating. Sort of.

I'm all curled up in my cocoon again, snuggled down in base layers. The black warm ones. It's quite snug.  
>I haven't bothered telling them about Carl the SquidSquidette because I'm just to lazy. Shame.

Marlene came in all shivery from visiting the lake again, so the heat-y things back on. Warm air is wafting in my face. It's nice.

Ahh, I could just stay here and not bother with astronomy. But then Lily would be mad at me – she's a bit of a workaholic. That Snape bloke isn't helping either. He came over as we went up to the common room earlier. I can't remember if I've already said this, but oh well. He was all 'Lily, I miss you, I'm lonely, help me with my homework'. Me and Emma dragged her away.

Talking of the Redhead, here she is now, coming out of the shower. And letting in a stream of steam in.

Good Merlin, my pages will get wet! Goodbye!

.

Eh, it's gone a bit now. Lily looks very happy, all cuddled up with her goat. I think I heard her talk to it when she came over, but there you go. Mad girl.

"Lily, what's goat-y's name?" I ask.

She smiled sleepily at me.

"Harry, for my uncle."

... . I'm not even going to ask.

But no, my not askingness was ignored.

"He fought in the last big muggle war and died. This was my last present from him,"

Oh no, she's all teared up!

I should probably go be comforting, but it's bloody warm in here, and I'll lose all my heat.

Oh who am I kidding, that's mean. And selfish. And _that_ is a _Slytherin_ trait!

So I get up and go and hug her. Actually, it's not too cold out of the cocoon, either. Hmm. Cosy, this room is.

I sat there for a few minutes, hugging the sad little Lily, then she fell asleep on me. Not on top of me, but she fell asleep during the Great Katie Armstrong Comfort Hour! It only comes rarely, so she should have taken advantage. Oh well.

I went and snuggled back in bed. Mmm, warm. I like it.

* * *

><p><strong>Some Ridiculously Early Time in the Morning.<strong>

Earghh, where the _hell_ am I?

Oh yeah, going to _bloody Astronomy_.

_Why_ would they make us do this at this time?  
>I <em>cannot<em> be bothered at all. Nope.

We should do this in the morning. I do _NOT_ approve.

* * *

><p><strong>Aren't I brilliant, getting this up so soon after the other one? Yes, I thought so too. To my dear, lovely reviewers, thank you! <strong>

**K –Aww, that made my day. I agree, I have no love at all for Mary Sues or '5****th**** marauders' because it's ridiculous. Really stupid, and ruins it a bit. I do sarcasm a lot myself (my teachers moan at me for doing so) so it's quite an easy thing for me to write. **

**Anyway, in answer to an anonymous question (why is Lily being nice? In everything else she's a b*tch?) – Lily was annoyed by Sirius and James, but Remus described her as one of the kindest and understanding people in their year. So that is how I'm doing it. Shes not some evil bitchy girl like some others make her out to be. Because that is **_**wrong**_**.**

**Thanks!**

**~Wolffe41 **


	7. Astronomy is Bad

**3****rd**** September  
>Great Hall, Breakfast<br>Status: Very Sleepy.**

Lily woke me up a bit later today- huzzah, huzzah. I think she overslept too, but she will never admit it. Marlene isn't even down yet.

Earghh. Astronomy is _tiring_. We didn't get back to the common room until half one, then we had to get dressed (undressed from the many coats and scarves we were wearing. i.e. a lot.) and the room went really cold. Someone left the window open, and it was not me.

So we all cuddled up on a bed – we chose mine because it was the cleanest. That in itself was scary, I'm usually very messy. Hmmm.

Anyway, we snuggled up together and tried to get warm, telling stories of our lives up to now.

Marlene is ¾ blood – her granddad's a pureblood squib and her parents a half blood, but I didn't understand so I just nodded and agreed - has an older brother called Matthew in Gryffindor, and likes to eat ice cream. She was homeschooled (Lily snorted, apparently it makes you posh and privileged. I pointed out that she is a pureblood, and it happens to most. Apart from me, of course) and lives in a big family manor or something.

Then I told them about my dear mad father, who keeps pigeons and sent me to a muggle school for a few years. It was okay, but Marly and Em looked a bit shocked. I don't blame them, I have a weird family.

Emma waffled on for a bit about mountains, the ministry and something else, I can't remember because I fell asleep. Then Lily realised and pushed me off the bed, little git. But she's not quite pure-blooded. I don't _think_. Oh well. I shall have to discover another time. Or ask dad.

I may have a bruised bum now, brilliant. I wouldn't look, though, because that's even weirder.

Lily is muggleborn, has a sister, lives in a normal muggle house, saw Snape lots, went with him to Diagon and the platform, fought with her sister and found me.

Life stories over, I can now eat in peace. Thank goodness.

They still don't have any waffles, I will complain!

"Lily, what fool would not put waffles on a breakfast table, hmm?" I ask Lily.

She hasn't even looked up, just sitting reading the _Daily Prophet_.

"Most people have them as a desert, that's why. Here, have some granola."

She chucks some into a bowl and thrusts it towards me. It went on my lap. Ewwwwwww.

"Lily, I do not appreciate such healthy things for breakfast, I need some form of sugar. Are there any strawberries? Cranberries? Sweet things?" I ask, and look down at the granola. It's all bitty and flaky and stuff. Yummy.

If you're a rabbit.

I got a round of 'Nope's for my trouble, but Frank did offer me some honey. I declined.

...

In Astronomy, Marlene had the fun of waking us all up (we're taking it in turns) and moaning and groaning for half an hour as we got all snugly in hats and stuff.

When we got to the tower, most of us were already there, all shivering and yawning like there was no tomorrow.

I think we must have been too tired to talk, because it was all quite, again.

Which is very, very strange.

We have Astronomy on our own, no other first years, so it was peaceful-ish – if you don't include the silent glare war going on between James and Sirius. Those two are the most bloody stubborn things alive – it's ridiculous.

The professor let us in, told us how to set up a telescope and explained the uses of astronomy.

It was fairly interesting. If you weren't brought up knowing all of this already, which dad was. So of course the man told me everything, and I got a small snooze. Which was nice. Lily woke me up and told me we had to look at the biggest one we could find.

In the end, half of us were so useless (mainly the left side of the tower) and the other half of us were so brilliant and awesome (our side) that Sinistra gave up, and explained some star charts, then Jupiter.

Sirius looked bored too. At least I wasn't alone, but then again, he IS a star, it's tradition for the Blacks. My dad just felt like telling me about stars. Special man. Some of the others looked a bit know-it-all (cough*James*cough, and Marlene's fried almost slag (she seemed to nice to be complete, so she's almost slag, now))

Lily was all happy and 'Oooh! Look, a star! A planet! Wow!' because apparently muggles don't learn things like that. I don't know, I was half asleep. With cold, frosty feet. It's blooming cold in that tower, I'll say that now.

Hmm, note to self;

_*wear thicker socks*_

The slutty one managed to get mascara on the end of her telescope (don't ask me why she needed any on at one in the morning. It's a mystery to me. And probably everyone else, too) and was having a fit, Frank was looking up Lance's nose with the telescope and Remus did not even look in the direction of Jupiter- he sat facing the opposite way, towards Sirius' side of the tower, and Sirius was gazing up at the moon over Remus' shoulder.

Sinistra said it was normal for a first lesson to be like that, and sent us away ten minutes early. I think she doesn't like us, but then again – she smiled as we came and left and talked and looked and asked stuff.

Oh, and we're not Slytherins. She must at least like us for that.

No offence Lily, if you ever find this, to Snape, I know he's your friend. But I shouldn't worry because this is not going into anyone's hands ever again save my own. Promise. Pinkie swear. But not unbreakable vow, because one day some sneaky person will probably pinch it. I bet on Sirius.  
>Or Frank.<br>Or James.  
>Or Emma.<br>Or Jake.  
>Or Olivia to read at her wedding.<p>

Hmm. I will hide it carefully.

...

Yay, charms first! Apparently Flitwick's really, really nice so it should be fun. And were with the 'Puffs, so it's even better.

I can introduce Lily and Emma to Amos!

I'm sure Emma will appreciate the thought.

* * *

><p><strong>Charms<strong>

Flitwick is so cool! He has to have loads of books on his chair because he's so little. Bless. In an old-dwarf-small-professor like way.

He took a register of us all and widened his eyes slightly at Sirius and some Hufflepuff girl, and now he's talking about a spell and incantations. So basically what we're doing for the rest of the year.

I didn't get to introduce Amos to Emma – he was already in here when we arrived. But the tables are all in rows, so I'm next to Lily. She didn't betray me.

There's a very interesting wall to my left, with a massive window next to it. Hmmm.

I wonder if it's reinforced with some kind of spell.

It's probably not – I somehow don't think you're about to get many people want to go flying off the side of a fourth floor into the lake. With Carl and merpeople and possibly a transporter.

I should probably listen. Flitwick's got a really squeaky voice because of his huge height (3ft 6") and some of the boys are laughing (James. Peter. Some fat 'puff).

But dad says he had Flitwick get him through his OWLs and NEWTs with O's, so he must be good.

Lily's glaring at me – it's probably a good idea to listen.

Transfiguration next. With McGonagall. But she's pretty awesome (and a cat, that's cool too) so it should be okay.

I hope.

* * *

><p><strong>Common Room, before Herbology.<strong>

**Status: a bit more awake. Ears ringing. The 'usual', according to the others.**

Erm, I take it back a bit about McGonagall being all nice to us, because the first thing she did when we set foot in the classroom, the marched up, told us where to sit until she knew us (I was next to a Slytherin and Sirius. Alphabetical order.) and then gave us a massive lecture about "I will not have any misbehaving in this class, it's a dangerous subject, and until you have grasped the basics, if anyone sets one toe out of line you will get out and never come back"

Yadda yadda yadda. Not in those exact words, though.

We were all sat in rows again, and so she puts the front of the alphabet at the FRONT. The _VERY_ front, in front of her desk. That's why I ignored you, so very terribly sorry.

But oh well, there wasn't very much happening. We read, got explained to and then tried to turn a matchstick into a needle.

It's really, _really_ hard! You have to get all the right concentration, say the spell correctly and McGonagall just kind of left us with an explanation, to see if we could figure out what to do. Mine had no change what so ever. Neither did Sirius's, and by the 'I'm-a-failure-how-could-this-happen-so-fast?' look on Lily's face, hers didn't do anything either.

James made a hole appear in his, though, but his dads incredible at transfiguration. The only thing my family has to do with transfiguration is that my Grand-Uncle (Dad's Uncle) was an animagus, and he got stuck one day. So he is a stoat forever, now. And he's still alive, but they have longer life spans. Every year we have a little celebration, not a good celebration – more of an acknowledgement that he got stuck in animal form forever. He has a little pen in Italy with Nan. It's quite cute, actually.

So he has the small advantage there. A stocky Slytherin girl (seriously, are they all huge? Or is it just me?) managed to turn hers pink with some charm. McGonagall got all mad and shouty at her.

It was very entertaining.

I think Emma laughed, and the she was off, growling away at her match. It didn't help, but it's nice for her to let off some anger.

Erm, hang on, being interrupted.

"Katie?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"We have Herbology now," she points out. Oh, clap-clap-clap for the redhead. Observation points to her.

"Yep. I know, don't worry," I say

"We're going to be late, the bell just went. Everyone has _gone, _and we're going to be- _What are you doing_?" she squeals.

Haha, I jumped up and grabbed her hair, bag and my bag and ran down the stairs to the portrait.

The fat lady has a groan at us, and then says 'go away, to your lessons, silly children'. Huh.

So we sprint all the way down seven floors (with a rest in between, I nearly collapsed.) and try not to be late to Herbology.

It didn't work.

Everyone else was in greenhouse 1, being shown how to prune a plant, and what everything is and dangerous stuff.

Sprout moaned at us for a few minutes, then said to split up and form threes with the others.

So of course I end up with slags minion no. 1 and almost-slag-that-is-Marys-friend,-therefore-not-quite-a-slag.

Sprout gave us a brief 'don't be late' talk, and then sends us off to our dear partners. Oh such fun it was, too.

Slag no.1 ignored me the entire time, choosing to turn around and pull (then shred after I asked why she was killing the poor, innocent plant) leaves off of a separate branch.

The other girl is actually quite nice.

Her names Alice Prewett, sister of Gideon and Fabien Prewett, known pranksters in Gryffindor. How Gideon is a prefect, Merlin knows. I think I might remember them from one of dads ministry parties (the sad, stuck up ones where they drink wine and send younger people, i.e. us lot, into the garden to play with gnomes whilst they drink. I met Sirius there once, and his brother.) but you never know.

She explained to me what we were doing ("It's a flutterby bush – it's leaves are good for stings and strengthening potions, but don't get on the wrong side of them and take too many of the leaves off because they'll bite you")

"How on _earth_ do they bite?" I asked, being a bit confused. I know; nothing new there, but I don't generally like Herbology.

Alice showed me a small red welt thing on her arm, and then prodded the tree with a twig. The part between its branches opened up and bit the twig. Straight in two, too.

Those lovely, innocent little trees killed a twig!

The Other One (yes, She gets capitol letters, because I'm oh so nice today) humphed and rolled her eyes as I tried.

Little bugger almost took my hand off! For a cute adorable little tree they are really quite vicious.

I shall give one to dear Olivia at her wedding and see if it eats her dress. _That_ will be a funny sight.

We got all its little stalky things off (eventually) without any serious injury. Sadly the same cannot be said for dear Emma, who worked with James and Peter (she didn't want to, but it was them or a pair of podgy 'puffs. So she stayed with the Gryffs) and got a very attractive scratch down her arm that wouldn't stop bleeding. So the three of them tottered off to see the Madame Pomfrey person in the hospital wing.

Sprout didn't give us any homework, either, which was nice.

She just told us to "trot off and think about the plants. Have a nice time, my dears!"

So we did.

* * *

><p><strong>Great Hall, Lunch.<strong>

**Status: Hungry and Amused.**

Still no pasta. They do, however, have some yummy smelling carrot soup, so I'll have a bit of that.

Emma came back a few minutes ago on her owney, moaning and groaning like a banshee.

"What's wrong?" I asked as she sank down and huffed.

She held up a very thickly bandaged arm. I snorted and raised my eyebrows (both of them. Still)

"The bloody plant got it's saliva in my arm and it won't heal properly, so I need this bloody thing,"

Lily 'ewwed' at that and I laugh. I got glared at.

"Oh dear. Here, have some pie, it will make you feel better," says Lily.

I seriously think that she thinks that all the world's problems are solved with food.

First the muesli granola stuff, now pie...

I think my poor little ginger friend; the one that was nervous and scared that I met just two days ago has gone dippy. Poor child.

I think it's Emma and the boys rubbing off on her, but I might be wrong.

Mm, this soup is actually really nice.

I don't even like soup, but there you go. House elves are magical beings.

Haha, very funny. It's not a pun.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey Guys! Im so very sorry for not updating sooner - I got caught up in end of year exams and have been on holiiday to Germany for two weeks. It was nice.<strong>

**Anyway, thanks for the Reviews and adds! Like I said, fuzzy feeling arrive when I get them. **

**This isn't to do with me, but if you like the Hunger Games, check out my friend _TheFireWasCaught_'s story _Into The Arena: Haymitch's Story_ - about the 50th HG and onwards. Its short at the moment, but Im helping her and the next chappie should be up soon. **

**Thanks! **

**~Wolffe41 :D **


	8. James is a bit of a failure

**Charms (again)**

Ahh, the joys of having dear little Professor Flitwick for charms twice in a day. He is very relaxing.

We're doing the same as this morning, learning how to hold the wand then the movement and enchantment.

It's quite fun, actually. We have the Ravenclaw's with us, and they're cool. Dominic paired off with one of the boys and has managed to singe his hair. It's a very attractive look, I'm sure he will have plenty of owls chasing him around, thinking that he's a new nest or something.

"Oi, are you paying any attention what so ever?" A moody voice asks me.

I look at Lily and she gives me a mini 'work-now-or-I'll-hit-you' glare. Her good 'I must feed you' mood has gone.

I smile at her. "Yep. You're just better at this than me, so I'm letting you get on with it without holding you back,"

I smirk and scrunch my face up. I get a roll of the eyes in response to my (very true) comment.

"It's saying a word. Or waving a wand. You've managed to do say it, now practice or you'll end up like _him_," she nods over at Peter and James who went over to see if Dom was alright a few minutes ago.

Bad idea, because now the three of them don't seem to have any eyebrows.

I snort and look down at my wand. It's just lying quite happily on my desk. I'm sure it can't be bothered to do anything. I know I can't.

Bloody hell, it's hot in this classroom. We're in the big huge tower overlooking Carl's lake, but the windows are closed. Huzzah, huzzah, I can boil my bottom off. I'll need that for flying later.

"_Katie_! Help me!"

"Really Lily? Can you not do this alone? I'm rather tired, you see, and-"

"It's the _second day_. How are you tired?"

I get a death glare, again, and recoil slightly. Lily has gone red and her eyes are flashing madly. Good Merlin, I suppose I had better help her.

I prod at the feather on our table with my wand. Stupid thing. Flitwick gave them to us to 'See if we can find out its mass, and therefore how much power needs to go behind the spell'

It's a feather! They don't _have_ masses! I look at Lily with my eyebrows both raised. She nods triumphantly.

"_Thank_ you."

"You're most welcome, Lily dearest."

I really need to stop giving in to her.

...

Oh dear, my prodding of the feather has not gone to plan. It is on fire.

Whoops.

"Errm, Lily?" I ask. She's helping Mary and Marlene.

"_What_?" she snaps. Oh dear.

"Don't look now, but I might need some help..."

Buggeration, she won't even look!

"Errm, actually, do look! Help me! Now!" I yelp, and prod the feather. Some sparks jump off of it. Oh sh- it's moving! Moving I tell you!

I scuffle my chair back against the table behind us. God knows where Flitwick is.

Oh wait, he's regrowing eyebrows. I suppose it would be so very cruel cruel to stop him helping those in need, especially considering I'm the one about to be _killed_ by this bloody rampaging fire!

"Katie! What have you done!" I hear someone squeal. Oh, finally! Help!

"Took your time Lily! Help me!"

She runs to the back and grabs Flitwick's shoulder. He turns around in shock and the fire decides to turn on me.

I start to flap at it desperately with a bag: no, it's not Lily's. I'm not sure whose it is...

Oh well, I'm in need!

Flitwick turns around to try and give her the fifth degree or some other 'Professor abuse' punishment, but she quite literally picks him up and _carries_ him over to our table at a run, squeaking and squawking.

_Okay_ then. She's gone mad.

I leap up and away as he (finally) realises what's happening, pulls out his wand and attacks the fire with water.

The table smokes and splutters, but it's okay, it won't die. When the fire is out, Flitwick turns to us.

Bugger.

"Who did this?" he asks in a very hilarious, furious way. Bless him. He isn't very good at being mad.

Lily points at me. I gasp in shock and pout at her.

Ohhh, the _betrayal_!

Flitwick turns to me and frowns.

"Err, sorry. The feather was being stubborn and wouldn't fly, so I poked it." I explain.

Flitwick puts a hand on his forehead.

"You don't poke feathers, Armstrong-" Ohh, use the last name. Ouch. "you don't poke anything with your wand unless you know _exactly_ what will happen! It is _very_ dangerous!"

Moan moan moan. Okay, I won't do it again. I think we _all_ know that.

Well, I might if someone annoys me, just to get them back. If I scared myself, who knows what I could do now! Just casually walk up to someone, put a feather on their head and poke it before- _WHOOSH!_ They die in an explosion of flamey feathers. Well, not _die_ exactly, but their hair would probably be burnt to a crisp.

"I won't give you a detention," YES! Suck on that, no detention. Cue the happy dance, "because you didn't know, but if it happens again, the four of you will get one, no escapes. Are you alright?"

No, I almost had a heart attack and killed by a savage fire. Take a guess, small sir.

"Yes sir."

He restores the table with a flick of his wand, and trots over to the front of the room and hops onto his book pile.

Lily glares at me. I ignore her.

It isn't _my_ fault. She turned me in, after all.

Flitwick tells us all exactly what he told me, and with all the kindness of his little heart, lets us out a few minutes early.

Hurray! Flying next!

* * *

><p><strong>Almost at the Pitch.<br>****Later**

"What happened to you two?" Emma asks as we reach down to the pitch.

She got out later, because her table was at the back. It was quite entertaining, running away from her and watching her vainly try to catch up.

"I poked the feather, it went on fire and tried to kill me, Lily wouldn't help, and Flitwick got annoyed." I tell her.

"I did help! I got Flitwick to help,"

"Oh yeah," I point at Lily and turn to grin at Emma.

"This dipstick carried Flitwick across the room to our table without telling him why. Just casually ran up behind him, and _grabbed_ him,"

Emma snorts and gives Lily a funny look. Lily looks insulted.

"I tried to tell him, but he was moaning at Potter. Stupid prig." She spits the last insult, violent child.

"Me or James?"

"James."

"Good, or else I would have been insulted,"

"Which is why I didn't say it about you! And it's true, the prat is attention seeking big time!"

Emma pats Lily's arm comfortingly. "Don't worry. I'm sure we can get him back."

"I could feed him to Carl?" I put in. Lily raises an eyebrow at me.

"The giant squid in the Black Lake. I just so happened to wonder about whether the lake is a portal to other worlds, and Pettigrew heard and now he wants to find out," I remind her.

Lily nods in approval. "Good plan,"

Why thank you, I know; I'm brilliant. Everyone bow down to my fascinating ideas.

We pass through the Entrance hall, and the Slytherins are coming up from the dungeons. Most suspicious.

Lily waves at her friend, the greasy black haired one, and he comes over to us. Oh, for Merlins' sake, _why_?  
>Doesn't he understand that I <em>detest<em> him, even though I don't even _know_ him? His presence _irritates_ me to _death_ and I want to -

"Katie, what on earth are you doing?"

Good Merlin, in my little state, I have managed to stop walking and have started to grind my teeth. I stop myself immediately and grin sheepishly at Emma.

She rolls her eyes and tells me to hurry up.

I tell her no.

She moans that we will be late for flying.

I run after her.

Lily and Grease-Pot didn't even realise my little reaction, which I suppose is a good thing, and I honestly cannot be bothered to catch them up. The effort involved is far too strenuous.

I don't think Emma Dear can be bothered either, as she shoots eye-daggers at His back and remains silent. I think she feels betrayed. I know I do.

* * *

><p><strong>Flying<br>Out in the freezing, freezing cold. **

Despite my 'Little Reaction' (Emma woke up from her brain dead state and gave it a nickname, laughing, when we finally reached Lily) we were still one of the first to Flying, with Frank&Friends being the only ones before us.

I nod at them, and he nods back with a wink and a grin.

Errm, okay. He is also mad. I am stuck with a bunch of lunatics for the rest of my life.

The goon comes over with Dom and Lance in tow, and he looks questioningly at Snape, stood a few feet away with Lily. I roll my eyes to say 'I know, it sucks'. He nods his head glumly a few times. 'I agree. You poor child' I can feel him saying. Well, not _feel_ exactly, but _feel_, in my head sort of thing. Like a mind reader.

He breaks off our silent conversation and says, "Are you planning to tell anyone about Carl?"

I gasp in mock shock. "Of course not! It's a _beautiful_ plan, to fool foolish beings into a deep, freezing lake in the middle of winter because they're stupid enough to believe there's a portal in there,"

He puts a hand over his mouth to try and stop himself laughing, and doesn't succeed. I'm just a hilarious person.

I think we've had this conversation before.

Anyway, Dom looks a little confused, so I start to explain to him all about Carl the Great Lake Squid.

I just about finish off when I get prodded in the back, rather sharply. I turn and glare at the prodder, expecting it to be Lily.

Oh, nope, it's Sirius (and Remus).

I have attracted an audience. Hurrah, the joys of being surrounded by people.

Well, five. Six if you include Emma.

"What's this about a squid, Armstrong?" he asks.

For crying out _loud_, how many times do I have to _explain?_

I roll my eyes and growl. He looks a bit astonished.

"Did you just growl at me?"

"Shush, I'm releasing built up anger," I tell him. He looks even more confused. I look at Frank meaningfully, and he seems to understand because he explains My Plot to the two boys.

Thank god _someone_ has a brain around here.

Honestly, the lack of brains is going to drive me insane. Maybe Frank has a brain, but no one else does and I'm SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS.

I turn away to Lily and Snape, flexing my hands slightly. Relax. Think of clouds.

I think everyone is here now, and a man is laying out brooms in the middle of the pitch. He calls us all over, and I end up dragging Lily away from Snape.

He glares at me and goes to stand with his Minions. Good riddance.

"Hello! I am Professor Whyte; you might remember me from when I played for the Pride of Portree, a few years back. Has anyone ridden a broom before?" He says, in an incredibly thick Scottish accent. I barely understand him, but oh well. As long as I can fly, I really don't care.

Most of us raise our hands to say 'yes, we have been on a broom before, duh'.

Whyte nods in approval, and makes us all stand next to a broom. Lily is next to me, and Snape is next to her. James and Lance are opposite me, because Peter's gone to ask if he can _miss out on flying_.

What a _wimp_.

Who would want to miss flying!

The professor's sent him back, and he has to stand on his owney with the dearest Slytherins. Hahahaha.

"Oi, Armstrong!" someone calls. I turn around and scan the line, looking for whoever it was. Sirius waves and waggles his eyebrows at me.

What a freak. Remus apparently agrees, because he rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

I cock my head and he calls again. "You want a competition? Were probably the best flyers here-," Oh I do feel muchly complemented. And honoured, to receive words of praise from 'almighty' Sirius Black. "- and I'm bored,"

If looks could kill, Sirius would be gone, _poof_, from the look James's giving him.

Ah, what harm will it do?

"You're on! First round the pitch wins?" I call back. He gives me the thumbs up, and I narrow my eyes mockingly.

"Are you sure that's wise?" asks Lily.

"Lily. It's flying. I'm not going to die, and these brooms don't go quarter of the speed I'm used to. Trust me,"

She nods, and turns her attention back to the broom.

"Now, raise your hand over a broom and say 'Up!'" Whyte calls. We all do, and mine decides it likes me and jumps into my hand. Hurrah!

Lily's has rolled over a little, and she looks rather strained. Emma's is- Oh my Merlin, Snapey-poo's has smacked him in the nose!

Bahahahaa! Serves the spoon right, trying to get in with us Gryffs.

I think everyone in Gryffindor saw it, because we're all laughing like some retarded pack of hyenas. Ahh, I love us.

Sirius has his broom, so does Potter, Remus' is hovering slightly and _Peter_ _is_ _crying_ and Lance has his and Frank has his and Dom... _doesn't_ have his, it appears to have flown away, and the Slytherins are stood like lemons watching us.

Whyte comes around to tell them all how to pick it up, and adjusts our grips so we don't 'slip off the end'.

Am I the only one that finds it funny?

Anyway, he grabs his own broom and shows us how to mount, before giving instructions on how to kick off.

Lily now looks completely petrified. Snape has a lovely bruise blooming on his forehead, across that greasy mop of hair... ew.

I catch Sirius' eye and wink – he winks back and James looks even more furious. Oh dear. Incoming famous Potter temper. Dad's warned me about this.

Apparently they get all mad and feisty and yell and smash stuff, I personally think it would be worth annoying him to see if it's true.

"On the count of three, I want the Slytherins only to push off GENTLY, rise a few feet, and then come back down. One, two, THREE!"

Oh. I was getting excited then. Sirius rolls his eyes at me, and I mouth back, 'I know'.

I watch the Slytherins move up (none of them get very far, probably because of the weight) and come back down. They're all cheering and whooping. Honestly.

Lily's calling enthusiastically to Snape, who's broom hasn't managed to leave the ground yet. Whyte tells him to push harder, and his broom starts to buck.

This time I know everyone has seen – we're laughing and laughing, even Lily, stood there chuckling like a beaver as Snape is thrown off, dangling by his arms.

"Don't let go! Try and get back on or it'll fly away!" Whyte calls, running over to us and trying to grab Snape's foot.

Holy Jesus, the broom is moving away! Just moving, floating casually, still bucking, away from the professor!

Snape is still trying to mount on, the idiot. He is failing spectacularly.

He looks round at Lily, who is still laughing madly, and I think he feels a bit betrayed because he falls to the ground, and the broomstick does exactly what the professor said, and is flying away.

Sirius waves again, and nods happily.

Oh yes!

Remus rolls his eyes before raising a hand slightly. I mount my broom. Sirius mounts his.

Ooh, the anticipation!

'Get set!' Remus mouths, and brings down his arm. "_Go_!"

We take off at the same time, and I start heading towards the pitch, flat against the handle with Sirius next to me, grinning and laughing. I pretend to kick him and he swerves, swearing happily at me.

"Oi!" someone cries from behind us. Oh my Merlin, if that's the professor... Oh, no, it's James.

He comes up besides us and Sirius swears again, rudely this time and James calls, "I'll show you decent flying!"

Sirius yells something back, and I try to stay out of the way: honestly, two boys in a race are _not_ good, especially if they're arch enemies.

Not going to lie, though, this is the best flying I've done in _years_.

We're about halfway round the pitch now, I think; I can just see the group watching us from the lawns. So long, suckers, we can fly. Boom.

James tries to overtake; Sirius blocks him and – oh my god, they're _kicking_ each other! What the hell?

"What are you _doing_?" I yell at them, and fly into the middle. Oops, bad plan, I'm being buffeted like a sock in a waterfall. Not that I know what that feels like (well, I do now).

Sirius grins at me and James mutters something under his breath. I glare at him. We're all still neck to neck, incredibly, and my broom can't go any faster. They must have set speed limits.

Well _that_ sucks.

"Oi, what's that?" Sirius calls, and points to something up ahead.

"Snivvys' broom!" James calls back, grinning evilly. Oh no.

I can see the group properly now, all the Slytherins are huddled round Snape and the Gryffs are watching us. I can't see the professor.

I tighten my grip on the broom handle and dive towards them; James and Sirius are still battling it out up there.

As I touchdown, I'm surrounded by people, all cheering and hugging me. I beat back the hands and Lily marches towards me.

Good grief, what now.

"You could have been killed, Armstrong!" she cries, prodding me in the chest. Ahh. Muggleborns. Bless her little heart, she was worried about me!

"Lily, you haven't seen Quidditch. Trust me, _that_ was _brilliant_!" I tell her.

She opens her mouth to say something, but someone gasps and points to the sky. We all look up.

James has one foot on his broom, and one foot on the bucking broom.

What is he doing! Is he some kind of _imbecile_, if anyone sees he will be _expelled_!

Sirius is coming down now, laughing madly at his enemy (I like calling them that, it's rather entertaining) and raises a hand at us.

"All hail Sirius Black, winner of the first annual broomstick rac- oh."

Haha, he's seen me! I won!

"Oh yes, get in there! Told you, Black!" I cry up to him.

He touches down and rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, but _He_ distracted me. I would have won." He motions up to the retard still trying to ride the two brooms.

I snort. Yeah right.

"Sore loser. I'm just better than you," I tell him, putting on false airs and dancing around. Lily grabs my arm and pulls a face that says 'you are a freak'. It's not true. I'm just witty and hilariously cutting. Duh.

"'Kay" is the only reply I get.

Well then.

James still isn't down yet. I wonder why the professor hasn't stopped him yet.

"Hey Lily?"

"What?"

"Where's Professor Whyte?" I ask.

She points to the floor.

"Oh."

He's fainted.

* * *

><p><strong>Great Hall - Dinner. <strong>  
><strong>Rather annoyed.<strong>

By the time we're back at the Great Hall, James has a detention, so does Sirius, and so do I.

Brilliant. Well, it could have been worse – Flitwick could have given me one too.

James eventually fell off the brooms, to Lily's pleasure. He went to the hospital wing with Peter, and has a turban thing on his head.

It's extremely attractive.

We (Lily, me, and Emma) eat straight away, and then go back up to tower. The house elves put out pasta today.

It is a great achievement. I am very proud of them.

I haven't seen Snape since his little fall of the broom, and Lily looks quite sad.

"Lily, cheer up. Snape's fine. The Matron will have him sorted in no time," I say. She sighs, and sinks into one of the armchairs next to the fire. I sit opposite her, and Emma collapses on the rug. She is a bit special.

"Yes, but I laughed at him. That probably hurt his feelings," she replies.

So we're back on the subject of feelings. Does Snape have feelings? I don't think so. He just doesn't seem the type.

"Oh well. Lily, he's fine," Emma says harshly. Ouch.

I glare at her, and stand up. "Do you guys want to play exploding snap?"

Emma smirks and nods. Lily looks a little bit confused, and then nods too.

The older people have all come in now and are milling around aimlessly. I point towards the room, and they get up to follow me. Our chairs have already been taken by some Fifth Years, the greedy pigs.

"Errm, Katie, what _is_ exploding snap?" Lily asks nervously when we get upstairs, and are all sitting on MY bed (they had permission, though).

Ahh, I love muggleborns. So clueless and innocent and corruptible.

"Well, it's all the fun and games of snap, but with the added risk of having your face burned off if you handle them too roughly, or 'snap' them at the wrong time," I tell her. Lily now looks a bit scared, and has shied away from the pack I have in my hands.

"No, it's just they could explode at any moment, but it doesn't hurt. Apart from when they get your ears. _That_ hurts," Emma says calmly.

I begin to dish the cards out, and Lily relaxes again.

"I take it you know how to play cards, Evans?" Emma asks teasingly. She gets a punch in the elbow and Lily rolls her eyes, too. Special treatment.

"Of course I do, Vance. Duh."

That's better, all snarky. I understand that.

We play merrily for a while (well, it may or may not be a few hours) and I _continuously lose_. What is _wrong_ with these _cards_?

They're mine after all, I should be favoured! At least we haven't had any injuries yet – we have at least one severe burn case at home, every single time. Usually it's dad or Jake, clumsy buggers.

The doors slams open and Marlene storms in. Oh Merlin, I forgot about her!

She doesn't look very happy. She slams the door back and marches over to her bed.

"Where have you been? It's half ten!" Lily asks.

Marlene looks up and glares. "With the others, being sociable, as you lot should be doing! Why are _you_ lot up here?"

Okay, because that made the world of sense. I exchange a confused look with Emma, who raises an eyebrow. "Playing snap. You wanna join in?" she asks, very politely.

Almost sarcastically, actually. Ooohh.

Marlene seems to have taken it as sarcasm, as she is now growling. "You could have said that an hour ago, instead of making your own little gang, without me!"

Aahhh. Jealous. Jeeeeeaaalous.

"Sorry, but you seemed to be having a whale of a time with slaggy, minion and Alice," I tell her. I don't get a reply.

She just picks up some pyjamas, heads into the bathroom and slams the door.

I turn back to my supposed 'gang'. "Well, that was exciting,"

Lily looks appalled. "I forgot about Marlene! What do we do?" she squeaks. Her face has gone red.

"Is it really half ten?" Emma asks casually. I check my watch, and nod. "We should probably get ready for bed then, let her sleep on it, let you rest after your little adventure because you have a detention tomorrow night with that new caretaker guy and I'm bloody tired,"

Lily agrees and I frown at Emma.

"It wasn't my fault, Sirius suggested it,"

Marlene's out now, and Lily's just gone into the toilet.

"Still, you could be there all night,"

I shrug and begin to get changed. Emma does the same, and we go into the bathroom for teethy cleany stuff. Toothbrush, that's the one.

When I get into bed, Lily blows out the candles, and an owl hoots.

It doesn't shut up.

* * *

><p><strong>Some early time in the morning.<strong>

I think I must have drifted off to sleep, because when I wake up again, all freezing, Leo is sat on me, still hooting madly.

"Your bloody owl is doing my head in!" Emma snarls from across the room.

I stroke Leo's head.

"It's not his fault, he's only a baby, and he wants a hug,"

I give the poor thing a hug, and Emma calls back, "He probably wants to go out to the owlery, not be stuck up in here. He's an _owl_,"

Apparently Leo agrees, because he nips my finger and flies to the window.

"Really Leo? Really?" I ask, for no reason at all, and roll out of bed.

Bugger, it's cold.

I open the window open long enough for him to get out, then turn up the heaty thing and bomb back into bed.

Aahh. It's quiet now. Leo can stay out.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hey there guys,<strong>_

_**Yep, I'm useless. The update once/twice a week thing is not going to happen, probably ever, unless this goes on hiatius whilst I finish it. And there no point whatsoever in doing that. **_

_**I will, however, edit the first chapters when I can be bothered. I'm uploading this in an airport on my way home from Gran Canaria, and have had not internet for 2-3 weeks - bar when I've been to Cafes with Wi-Fi. So I had a goos chance to edit the first chapter for you. Its not major - just the rather appaling tenses and stuff.**_

_**But voila, here it is! **_

_**Cheers for the reviews, I honestly love you guys. Really, I do. I have no internet to see who has reviewed, but I remember it being June when I last updated, and I did actually write the first half of this then. I just got lazy. **_

_**Oh, and, it was my birthday on the 18**__**th**__**. Oh yes. **_

_**If you've read this all, you're a legend, if you haven't, then you're not but you wouldn't know/be offended, because you didn't read it. Simple logic. **_

_**Adios, mi amigos. (I'm taking Spanish at GCSE, btw. ME FREAKIN' GUSTA, as Marvel would say.)**_

_**~Wolffe.**_


	9. Oh look, a Hill

_**4**__**th**__** September, the room.  
>Tired and annoyed.<strong>_

My owl somehow managed to get back in our dormitory last night.

How do I know?

There's poo on my bed.

_Poo_.

And unless it was Lily, I recon it was Leo. I really should train him, but that requires effort. I have no effort, because today is _Saturday_.

I'm rather glad that the first of September was Wednesday; I wouldn't have been able to cope if we had come full on into a week of getting up so early.

I should move though, it stinks a bit. And the others are all asleep, so I can have the fun of waking them all up by turning on the shower.

I slowly (very slowly) easy myself up, and slouch over to the bathroom. It's freezing in there, which shocks me because whenever I go to shower, it's usually already boiling.

Oh well, there's plenty of hot water to use up to make it nice and toasty. There should be, anyway. It's a magic school – we have endless supplies of everything.

I pull the lever, and relax as the water hits my back. I like this shower. I could stay here, everyday and forever. We have some nice smelly soap in here from the house elves, so it's a bit like mums' heated room that I'm not _meant_ to go in but do so anyway.

Eh, she doesn't know. What difference does it make?

When I get out of the shower, someone id stomping around on the other side of the door. Aha, I have woken Lily.

Excellent. Now she can shower and I will drag her down to breakfast, I'm bloody starving. The other pair can stay in bed, as requested. Emma is not the nicest thing to wake up to in the world, so giving her a bit of beauty sleep is probably best.

I get dried and dressed, and hurry out so Lily can go in.

She's stood, tapping her right foot, clutching a towel.

"I take it you were the first awake?" she asks.

No, I'm the last. The other two are just pretending, obviously. As much as I love Lily, she is a bit dim sometimes.

I roll my eyes. "Yes, evidently, my dear – now hurry up, I'm starving,"

She arches an eyebrow, and my stomach gives a groan to back up my point. She must have heard it, it sounded like a sitting dragon.

"Fine, whatever - just don't wake _them_." She points a finger over her shoulder at the sleeping logs, and goes into the bathroom.

I sit back down on my bed, and listen to the water coming back on. Lily squawks a little, and I grin.

I have showers hot enough to make Satan squirm, and since I always go last, the others have not had the pleasure in finding that out.

My stomach growls again, and I thump it. Bad idea, because it _hurt_. Ever the smart one, me.

I getting a bit bored. The water has not stopped yet, and it's been ... five minutes. Huh.

Shed better hurry up, because my belly is eating my intestines. I don't think that that is healthy, exactly, but as long as live for the next half an hour, I won't need to worry about it because we will be in the great hall, eating.

I lie down on my bed, and snuggle up in the blankets. I swear these beds are enchanted to keep themselves warm, because it seems to be the same temperature as it was when I got out. I'm not going to complain.

I think I must have dozed off, because the next thing I know is Lily is sat on the end of my bed, arms folded, prodding me with her foot.

I slap it away, and she gets up.

"Coming?" she asks sarcastically. I stick my tongue out at her, and get up.

She hops up too, and follows me out of the room. Emma and Marlene are still asleep, thank Circe.

* * *

><p>The common room is empty, which surprises me a bit. It's half eight now, and I would have thought that the getting up early vibe would have kicked in, and made everyone get up like they would if it was a weekday. Mine has, bloody thing.<p>

We half run, half walk down the many, many stairs. I think we're getting faster, but by the time we're at the bottom, I'm panting quite hard. Honestly, I must get fit for Quidditch.

"Well," Lily pants, smirking at me. "That was fun,"

I know she saw mw trip and almost go flying headfirst in my bid to get food, so I just glare. She should understand how important food is. It's my favourite time of the day.

So I tell her to shut up, and go into the Great Hall.

...

Bloody hell, it's empty!

Well, I wasn't expecting _that_.

Lily looks surprised, too, and we slowly make our way to the Gryffindor table. Its right next to the doors, so we don't have to walk far, thank Merlin.

We sit in our usual places, opposite James', Peters, Sirius' and Remus'. It's entertaining, because all they do is bicker.

How very typical maleishness for you.

Speaking of them, they're _actually_ not in here. Huh. How strange – usually me and Lily are the last to get up because we don't need to inhale as much food as everyone else. Even slaggy and friends aren't here, but I won't complain about that.

I grab a couple of slices of toast from the rack, and watch Lily take an apple and cereal. We eat in silence until the doors swing open and a blurry eyed Marlene comes in. I wave, and she wanders over and sinks into the bench next to me.

"I take it you're not a mourning person?" I ask.

She grunts and grabs a mug of coffee, downing it pretty much in one. Lily scrunches up her nose.

I don't get an answer until Marlene finishes eating, and she sighs, leaning back slightly and looking a bit more awake.

"It's Saturday, I have no need _what-so-ever_ to be up early,"

Lily nods sympathetically, and I glare at her. I understand enough body language to know that that sympathetic nod was insulting my need for early morning food.

When Lily is finally finished, we leave the Great Hall and go into the grounds. I haven't seen them at all yet, but apparently it's brilliant. I want to see the Quidditch pitch.

"Oh Wow," Lily murmurs, as I crane my neck, looking for the stands.

Marlene has come to a stop too, so I roll my eyes.

"Guys, what are you doing, I need to find the Quidditch pitch before I explode,"

Lily just drags me back and spins me round, so I see what she was aweing at.

I gasp, and clutch her arm.

We're stood at the crest of a giant hill, with the mountains fading into the distance and coated in greyish clouds. The forbidden forest that James keeps ranting on about is a twisted clump of black and green, with a hut surrounded by pumpkins sitting on the edge. As we watch, a man comes out, followed by a tiny puppy.

"D'you think we can go and look?" Marlene asks, her voice a whisper in the wind.

I shrug. "One way to find out," and head down a rocky path.

They follow me after a moment, and I speed up. The wind is roaring in my ears, but I honestly don't care – I feel alive like I haven't done in ages.

Behind me, Lily gives a small shriek and a weight pushes me forwards. I stumble, trying to regain my footing, but someone (I suspect Marlene) laughs, and the pair of us go tumbling down.

_Ouch_, buggering _ouch_.

When we finally roll to a stop, Lily draped over my back, I look up at Marlene. The idiot is stood where we left her, laughing hysterically into her hands.

I drop my head down onto the ground and Lily groans.

"Well, isn't this absolutely fantabulous," she mutters, and I frown. I think the fall has done something to her head, because I'm pretty sure that _that_ is _not_ a word, and Lily is _always_ grammatically correct. As far as I know, anyway.

"What?" I ask, wriggling my body slightly. Ah, no serious damage. Just a lot of bruises and possibly a broken bum knuckle.

She huffs. "Never mind."

She gets up, and I drag myself up to join her in glaring at Marlene, who is finally starting to gain a bit of control and is running towards us.

Lily whacks her around the head when she finally reaches us.

"What was that for!"

"What was _that_ for?" Marlene gasps back, clutching her head.

Lily has gone all red. I take a step back. Angry Lily is not something I would like to be near, by the looks of things. I should find someone else to take my sarcasm and annoyance out on. Maybe Peter.

"You pushed us down a hill!"

"You were going to fall anyway!"

"Well I'm _so_ sorry, _something_ hit my leg!"

"So you panicked and crashed into me," I add wryly. Lily glares, and I can feel myself recoil from her slightly. Her glare could kill a dementor.

She seems to have calmed down a little, though, so we carry on going towards the hut. The man is _huge, _as far as I can see.

They keep on bickering until the man notices us, and waves. Lily grabs my arm and I shake it off.

She is a bit of a wimp, really. Bless her.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm back :D <strong>

**Yes, once again I was distracted by a small thing called 'life' and 'GCSE's'. It was horrible, and I'm on about 5 hours of sleep a day to get homework, coursework, the pony, writing and running and making a vague attempt at social life. It's _very_ fun.**

**Cheers for the reviews, guys, I really do appreciate it so freakin much it's unreal. None of my friends are fangirls/boys so I have to have my squeeing sessions alone, and then rewatching Hetalia has made it about six times worse, but I don't care at all :)**

**~Wolffe**


	10. And Hagrid, of course

The first thing (sort of) that I notice when we finally get to level ground, is how _tall_ the guy is.

I mean, from a distance he looked a good six feet, but that may/may not be four foot of his real height. Even his beard is huge, like a fluffy animal decided it wanted to nest on his face forever.

Anyway, he holds out a hand, and grins. He appears to be good natured, which I suppose is a bonus. I manage to choke out a small 'hello', and Lily just grips my arm tighter. Bless her; I think she's a bit scared.

He reaches out a huge hand, and wraps it around my arm. All the way up to my elbow. I shake it, and then I notice how _strong_ he is.

This is going to sound completely bizarre and crazy, but when I was little, dad had a 'meeting' in Austria, in the mountains. That's not the crazy part – quite a few people go on holiday to Austria to the mountains. But I could have gotten bored, and may have wandered off into a tunnel. Not the greatest plan when I learnt (from a screaming mad dad) what was _inside_ the tunnel.

_Giants. _

You know, those hugely huge scary beings that live in mountains that are supposable dyeing out? Yeah, those sort of giants. I saw an arm of one, and it was twice the length of my body and thicker that Jake is wide (and that's saying something).

Long story short, I was grounded. For a few months.

Hmmm. Kinda makes you think. Not about giants, but how huge this guy is.

Right - moving on, story time over.

"Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and Grounds here at Hogwarts," he says proudly, and Marlene to the side of me lets out a small 'Oh!'.

"But yeh can just call me Hagrid,"

I drag Lily from behind me, and she gives a tiny shy wave.

"Hello,"

Marlene snickers, and I realize he's looking at us expectantly.

"Oh! Right, yeah! Errm, I'm Katie, Katie Armstrong,-" I say, but Hagrid holds up a hand and chuckles.

"Not Paul's other daughter, surely?"

Oh bloody hell. How flipping typical that bloody Dad has set standards, it's already hard enough with Olivia strutting left right and centre. Humph.

Marlene answers yes for me, so I glare at her. Not very much, though.

Hagrid pats me on the shoulder, and I think I just sank about a foot into the mud. Okay, maybe not a foot but a good inch or so.

"Ah, don' worry abou' her; she's got yeh mother's side. Moody. I suppose you're the opposite?"

_Excellent_.

I'm not the only one that thinks that. Boom, Olivia. Boom.

I nod and grin, and Hagrid takes his hand from my shoulder and looks to the pair that are still stood slightly behind me.

"I'm Lily Evans," Lily squeaks, and Hagrid waves happily at her, and Marlene says her name. She gets a similar question of "Matthew's brother, Marlene?"

So, she _does_ have a brother.

Well, I suppose she did tell us. I just didn't believe her.

Oh well.

It's not going to harm her, and I didn't specifically say that I didn't believe her, so no harm done.

They get into a conversation about Matthews apparently crazy trips into the forest. The forest we were warned about. I think he must be a bit mad, because I'm sure I wouldn't like to go in there anytime soon.

Lily looks a bit confused. I roll my eyes at her and she just gives me a questioning look. Oh _right_, she doesn't get it.

I need to corrupt her. And her innocent muggle-like mind.

Hmmm.

Or just give her lots of books, she seems to like them. She'd probably get on well with the Puff, what's-his-name.

Oh hurrah, Marlene has finished talking, and I presume she must have said something to us. Whoops. She's pulling the _do as I say now or else_ glare, one I know because mother dear pulls it a lot.

So I just nod and smile, and Lily copies me, thank Merlin.

"How're yeh doin' up at school?" Hagrid asks, turning back to his cabin (it's quite small in comparison to him) and motioning for us to follow. We do so.

I exchange a glance with the others and say, "It's pretty good, actually. Apart from the homework,"

"But it's fun, Katie! The homework is good!" Lily pipes up.

Me and Marlene just look at her.

Hagrid chuckles.

But even so, he looks a bit confused. I don't blame him.

How anyone normal can like homework is beyond me.

"Okay Lily. I think we should give it a few years, and then ask you the question again," Marlene sighs. I snort.

"What?" Lily asks.

"Oh, it's just we'll have OWLS, and sleeping will be considered a very rare and special occurrence, let alone having any form of social life," I tell her.

She doesn't look any less disheartened, so I think I'll just give up.

Hagrid's still stood behind us, watching our little bicker. He seems nice enough, for such a huge scary guy.

Eh, I'll ask Dad. He is 'all knowing' (or so he claims).

My stomach gives a rather worrying rumble, and Marlene gives me a look.

I shoot her one back to tell her not to say anything.

She doesn't.

Good.

Anyway, I check my watch because my belly usually only makes such ridiculous noises when it's nearly time for food.

Good grief, it's half twelve!

Well, that escalated quickly.

"Errm, guys, its twelve thirty and I'm rather hungry. Can we go back up?" I ask. They all turn to me. It's a bit intimidating, but since I'm hard I'll deal with it.

"Yeh can stay down here if yeh want, I have food in m'hut," Hagrid offers.

Marlene checks her own watch to make sure I'm not lying, humph.

"Um, thanks, but I have a transfiguration essay to start, and I think it's going to rain... we'll come and visit you sometime, though," Lily says sweetly, and Hagrid pats her on the head.

"Ah, all righ' then, I best be getting on too... I'll see yeh around," he replies, quite happily, before waving and whistling to the puppy. It barks, and scampers after him as he walks in to the forest.

We all yell goodbye, and start heading back.

Aww. The puppy is cute. I want one, just to cuddle. As a dorm pet, since I highly doubt Leo will be allowed to stay in our room ever again. Bless him.

* * *

><p><strong>The Room,<br>I don't know, sometime reasonably late.**

Errm, long story short – I have done absolutely nothing all afternoon.

Unless lounging around on my bed, eating and rereading _Quidditch through the Ages _counts. But I don't think it does, so I won't.

Whoops, too late.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Arghh, Sorry!<strong>

**I've been travelling around the UK with my family for a month and a bit, I have no clue why, but yeah. No internet or way of uploading anything. But here you go, so don't murder me :)**

**Erm, I don't have the hang of Hagrid yet, as you can probably see.**

**~Wolffe**


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